My traditional New Year's eve activities involve spending the day reflecting on all my flaws and resolving to fix every last one of them in the coming year. You can see how successful I have been at that but I am doing it again today.
They say you should document your resolutions so as to make it concrete, almost like a contract. So here is my contract for 2010.
1) The obligatory FIX BODY. That will include losing that last 10 pounds of pregnancy weight ( my son is 14 so it may be time), exercising stronger every day, visiting the appropriate doctors for the appropriate check ups, easing up on the carbs, bulking up on the fresh fruits/veggies. Two years ago the impetus was "Skinny Bitch", last year Omnivores Delight and this year Flat Belly Diet". At least my wallet is slimming down.
2) FIX PERSON. This is a big one. It means being a better mother, wife, daughter, and yes person. So ambitious, right? More patience with the kid, more "attention" to the husband, less arguing with the mother and overall just to be kinder and nicer. This oldie but good lasts about 2 days.
3) FIX HOUSE. My house is about a billion years old and I love it. However the age and size present a constant demand for repairs and improvement. I will paint (or get a painter), sand, repair and improve this house this year. Last time I made this resolution to redo a seldom used bathroom, it took 3 years. IS that success?
4) FIX MIND. I need to be calmer, or so I hear. This year I will work on good thoughts, spirituality and more laughter. Maybe this one will eliminate the need for the others.
5) FIX CAREER. I guess it isn't really a fix but more of a find. I love working but sometimes my priorities dictate commitment levels I cannot adhere to. This year I will find what I want to do and do it - even if just for 2010. I plan on writing more and better. Let's say publishing at least 3 magazine articles or a short story. Guess I will have to blog about rejection this year as well.
How's that for improving oneself? Actually, it made me tired. Good thing I don't have to start until tomorrow.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Driving in Snow
If you have lived in Buffalo during any of the winter months you must have experienced driving in the snow. So I should be able to assume that Buffalo drivers know how to drive in such weather. Why are there still idiots behind the wheel?
During Monday evening's snow storm my husband was exiting the 90 to the Scajaquada freeway during snow and wind. A guy in a Ford Truck determined that his truck was a tank or that he was auditioning for the INDY 500 and sped past all drivers taking the turn at lightening speed. Guess what? He smashed into another car, propelling that car's bumper about 100 yards where it waited for my husband's car to hit it resulting in two blown tires.
I am so thankful that no one, especially my husband, was hurt. However this little stunt by our trucker resulted in a day of me driving back and forth to hospitals, car dealers, offices and tire shops not to mention the bill for two new tires. My husband had the additional delight of driving on two flats (can you say rim damage?), removing those tires in the snow storm and having to be driven around to and from his appointments by his very annoyed wife.
What is it about these guys (because usually they are men) who think they are exempt from the laws of nature while behind a steering wheel? Is it bravado, stupidity or just plan ignorance that makes a driver believe snow, wind, ice and traffic means increase your speed rather than slow it down?
I think we should implement a new driving test for winter drivers. It doesn't need to me a road test. Oh no. It needs to be a simple written quiz to determine if the driver is an absolute senseless, selfish, idiot.
During Monday evening's snow storm my husband was exiting the 90 to the Scajaquada freeway during snow and wind. A guy in a Ford Truck determined that his truck was a tank or that he was auditioning for the INDY 500 and sped past all drivers taking the turn at lightening speed. Guess what? He smashed into another car, propelling that car's bumper about 100 yards where it waited for my husband's car to hit it resulting in two blown tires.
I am so thankful that no one, especially my husband, was hurt. However this little stunt by our trucker resulted in a day of me driving back and forth to hospitals, car dealers, offices and tire shops not to mention the bill for two new tires. My husband had the additional delight of driving on two flats (can you say rim damage?), removing those tires in the snow storm and having to be driven around to and from his appointments by his very annoyed wife.
What is it about these guys (because usually they are men) who think they are exempt from the laws of nature while behind a steering wheel? Is it bravado, stupidity or just plan ignorance that makes a driver believe snow, wind, ice and traffic means increase your speed rather than slow it down?
I think we should implement a new driving test for winter drivers. It doesn't need to me a road test. Oh no. It needs to be a simple written quiz to determine if the driver is an absolute senseless, selfish, idiot.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Fictional vs. Real
Is it just me or have people begun to live more in a fantasy world than in the real world? Is life so bad that it needs to be fabricated with pretend friends and make believe talents?
Since the beginning of time, I think people have pretended to be something other that what they were, but technology has has taken this to the nth degree. Role playing video games such as SIMS are fun in moderation; pathological in abundance.
How about all those people who claim to be fitness gurus because of their Wii personal trainers? Wake up folks. Those personal trainers are animated characters who don't really see you and can't really tell if you are moving appropriately. And guess what? You are not a guitarist because you hit the top level of Guitar Hero or Rock Band. We have entered a world where hard work, persistence and effort to perfect a skill has been replaced with purchasing a gaming console, pouring a drink and toss around a controller.
Don't get me wrong, I think these games are great fun. But that's what they are: games. Its wonderful to be able to simulate something that you will never do as long as you are not passing up an opportunity to really try something because you believe you have already experienced it electronically. I cannot believe that the physical act of hitting a tennis ball can be fully replicated by swinging a remote control.
It's worse with friends. I have a few extremely good friends. I consider myself genuinely fortunate. Developing a friendship requires compassion, time, understanding and shared experiences. It is more than sending a Friend request on Facebook and periodically posting a pithy note on their wall. Those 100 names do not represent real friends.
It's not just technology. I once visited a new friend. When asked about the microphone and audio equipment set up in her living room, she responded that she was a singer. WOW. Good for you, have you been singing long? Do you play local clubs? Performing in front of an audience must be amazing. She responded oh no I do karaoke. Really? Is that all it takes to call yourself a singer?
I guess I am doing it as well. I blog so does that mean I am a writer? Are my colleagues the writers who majored in English, worked years to hone their craft, published words and basically paid their dues? Or are my peers the people who have a computer, an opinion and a little time? No, I recognize what I am and what I am doing. The line between fiction and reality is pretty clear for me, which makes me even more crazy when speaking to people who pass through that line like walking through fog.
Since the beginning of time, I think people have pretended to be something other that what they were, but technology has has taken this to the nth degree. Role playing video games such as SIMS are fun in moderation; pathological in abundance.
How about all those people who claim to be fitness gurus because of their Wii personal trainers? Wake up folks. Those personal trainers are animated characters who don't really see you and can't really tell if you are moving appropriately. And guess what? You are not a guitarist because you hit the top level of Guitar Hero or Rock Band. We have entered a world where hard work, persistence and effort to perfect a skill has been replaced with purchasing a gaming console, pouring a drink and toss around a controller.
Don't get me wrong, I think these games are great fun. But that's what they are: games. Its wonderful to be able to simulate something that you will never do as long as you are not passing up an opportunity to really try something because you believe you have already experienced it electronically. I cannot believe that the physical act of hitting a tennis ball can be fully replicated by swinging a remote control.
It's worse with friends. I have a few extremely good friends. I consider myself genuinely fortunate. Developing a friendship requires compassion, time, understanding and shared experiences. It is more than sending a Friend request on Facebook and periodically posting a pithy note on their wall. Those 100 names do not represent real friends.
It's not just technology. I once visited a new friend. When asked about the microphone and audio equipment set up in her living room, she responded that she was a singer. WOW. Good for you, have you been singing long? Do you play local clubs? Performing in front of an audience must be amazing. She responded oh no I do karaoke. Really? Is that all it takes to call yourself a singer?
I guess I am doing it as well. I blog so does that mean I am a writer? Are my colleagues the writers who majored in English, worked years to hone their craft, published words and basically paid their dues? Or are my peers the people who have a computer, an opinion and a little time? No, I recognize what I am and what I am doing. The line between fiction and reality is pretty clear for me, which makes me even more crazy when speaking to people who pass through that line like walking through fog.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Allergic to Toxins
By the very definition of the word TOXINS, we are pretty much all allergic to them. So if that's true why are there harmful toxins in our food and why hasn't the government prevented this?
Recently, my best friend was starting to have allergic reactions such as a swollen tongue and tingling in her mouth after eating. This is more than just a discomfort, as her throat could swell preventing her from breathing. After almost 3 months of dealing with this including doctor appointments, food journals and painfully miserable days she found that she is allergic to cottonseed oil.
Of course my first response was "Why the hell are you consuming cottonseed oil?. Apparently it is being used in a frighteningly significant amount of food preparation. I did some investigation and found that the recent economic hardships have forced the food industry to look for shortcuts to save money. Low and behold cottonseed oil is cheaper than soybean or canola oil. Probably because it is toxic. Can you believe that cottonseed oil is actually used as a pesticide?
FDA restrictions that monitor food and chemicals have allowed cottonseed oil to slip through a loop hole and now that cotton for the textile industry is suffering, cotton for the food industry is booming. Or at least trying to.
For all the debate and arguing across partisan lines, I would think that we can all agree that one of the primary, basic roles of the government is to keep us safe. I understand that being safe has several degrees but allowing toxins in our food, knowing that numerous people will suffer seems like a no brainer. Don't let it happen. This stuff is killing us.
Now you can say it is our responsibility to monitor our food intake and yes I can agree with that. Let me be responsible enough to know that too many chips are bad and will risk obesity and heart failure. But as far as knowing that cottonseed oil is used in the frying of those potato chips and that cottonseed oil is full of toxins I would think the government could help me out a little with that one.
This is just another reason to switch to all organic, all health food , all the time. God I wish I had the will power.
Recently, my best friend was starting to have allergic reactions such as a swollen tongue and tingling in her mouth after eating. This is more than just a discomfort, as her throat could swell preventing her from breathing. After almost 3 months of dealing with this including doctor appointments, food journals and painfully miserable days she found that she is allergic to cottonseed oil.
Of course my first response was "Why the hell are you consuming cottonseed oil?. Apparently it is being used in a frighteningly significant amount of food preparation. I did some investigation and found that the recent economic hardships have forced the food industry to look for shortcuts to save money. Low and behold cottonseed oil is cheaper than soybean or canola oil. Probably because it is toxic. Can you believe that cottonseed oil is actually used as a pesticide?
FDA restrictions that monitor food and chemicals have allowed cottonseed oil to slip through a loop hole and now that cotton for the textile industry is suffering, cotton for the food industry is booming. Or at least trying to.
For all the debate and arguing across partisan lines, I would think that we can all agree that one of the primary, basic roles of the government is to keep us safe. I understand that being safe has several degrees but allowing toxins in our food, knowing that numerous people will suffer seems like a no brainer. Don't let it happen. This stuff is killing us.
Now you can say it is our responsibility to monitor our food intake and yes I can agree with that. Let me be responsible enough to know that too many chips are bad and will risk obesity and heart failure. But as far as knowing that cottonseed oil is used in the frying of those potato chips and that cottonseed oil is full of toxins I would think the government could help me out a little with that one.
This is just another reason to switch to all organic, all health food , all the time. God I wish I had the will power.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Let it Go
With groups of family and friends getting together over the holidays, it is inevitable (or at least in my family) to discuss those who aren't there or haven't sent the Christmas card or are still living the feud. When do you let it all go an just forget about it?
Forgiveness seems so obvious. Easily understood. Stop the resentment, give it up and pardon that person. Much easier to understand than to implement. Maybe, maybe not.
You need a little self confidence and to take yourself a little less seriously. Confidence will help you realize that one event does not define you. You are still loved, respected, yada yada yada. So you didn't get that Christmas card, better remove her from your list. How could SHE forget you? And don't even remind me about that brother in law who ruined your holiday party with vulgarity, carelessness and overall ugliness. He is done.
Granted some transgressions are worse. Family who make such stupid decisions that they destroy people's lives. Not that easily forgiven. Maybe the relative who borrows a large sum of money from you and never pays it back. Or the family friend who never came to see your dying parent. Or the one who wasn't there when you needed him the most.
But its hard to hold that grudge. You miss out on the good times with that person, who if it was a friend at one time, probably had several good qualities. Or you feel yourself being ugly and that just ruins the day for you. Frankly its tiring.
And don't forget you may have also needed forgiveness at one or two times in your life. I myself, even went so far as to go to an old family friend's wake with a tad bit too much alcohol in me. Bad judgement? Definitely! But certainly not enough to have an entire family ostracize me? Besides isn't it enough punishment that a certain sibling brings it up every single time we get together?
I think its time to let it go. FOrget about the transgressions. Chalk it up to the fact that people screw up. Maybe getting rid of all that baggage will also help drop a few pounds. Ok that's wishful thinking. Nonetheless I am going to work on this one for 2010.
Forgiveness seems so obvious. Easily understood. Stop the resentment, give it up and pardon that person. Much easier to understand than to implement. Maybe, maybe not.
You need a little self confidence and to take yourself a little less seriously. Confidence will help you realize that one event does not define you. You are still loved, respected, yada yada yada. So you didn't get that Christmas card, better remove her from your list. How could SHE forget you? And don't even remind me about that brother in law who ruined your holiday party with vulgarity, carelessness and overall ugliness. He is done.
Granted some transgressions are worse. Family who make such stupid decisions that they destroy people's lives. Not that easily forgiven. Maybe the relative who borrows a large sum of money from you and never pays it back. Or the family friend who never came to see your dying parent. Or the one who wasn't there when you needed him the most.
But its hard to hold that grudge. You miss out on the good times with that person, who if it was a friend at one time, probably had several good qualities. Or you feel yourself being ugly and that just ruins the day for you. Frankly its tiring.
And don't forget you may have also needed forgiveness at one or two times in your life. I myself, even went so far as to go to an old family friend's wake with a tad bit too much alcohol in me. Bad judgement? Definitely! But certainly not enough to have an entire family ostracize me? Besides isn't it enough punishment that a certain sibling brings it up every single time we get together?
I think its time to let it go. FOrget about the transgressions. Chalk it up to the fact that people screw up. Maybe getting rid of all that baggage will also help drop a few pounds. Ok that's wishful thinking. Nonetheless I am going to work on this one for 2010.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas
The tree is decorated, the presents are wrapped, the family is in town and the meal is cooked. TIme to enjoy the holiday.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Anticipation for the day
Today is probably one of my most favorite days of the year and definitely the most work. For Christmas Eve I have a somewhat traditional dinner for my entire family (in-laws included).
The day starts early say around 6 am with my sister coming over to help. We have coffee and pick up the Wegman's order. This year my twin sister is in for the celebration and she will be recruited to help as well. I save a lobster tail for my son's lunch and we have a noon cocktail or eggnog/rum. Majority of the month I complain about all that has to be done when in all honesty its this working together that I love and that makes the holidays special to me.
This dinner started out when we moved back to Buffalo. I had never used my wedding china and crystal plus living away meant I missed birthdays and family celebrations. I thought how great it would be to bring both sides of the family together on this day. Nothing but positives: My mom wouldn't have to cook, we could see both sidea of the family at the same time, I could prove I had skills in the kitchen. The party was for 11 people and that was 13 years ago.
Today it includes 30 (12 of which are kids) and I serve the following:
Start off course with kir royal, wine and assorted cocktails. Before dinner starts we will break the opwatek (sp?) and wish each other well for 2010.
Course 1 - Lobster bisque and Mushroom soup
Course 2 - Carmelized pecan salad and homemade wreath bread
Course 3 - Poppyseed sour cream noodles and pierogi
Course 4 - Bacon wrapped scallops and shrimp scampi
Course 5 - Massed potatoes, string beans and prime rib
Course 6 - Cranberries and baked haddock
Course 7 - Honey glazed carrots and ginger lime salmon
Course 8 - Gingerbread torte, chocolate cake, Christmas cookies and coffee
Finish with an assortment of liquors
After dinner Santa will make an appearance and we will exchange presents.
Although I spend a fair amount of time bitching, I am so blessed and thankful to be able to do this for my family. We are together and healthy, what more could I ask for?
The day starts early say around 6 am with my sister coming over to help. We have coffee and pick up the Wegman's order. This year my twin sister is in for the celebration and she will be recruited to help as well. I save a lobster tail for my son's lunch and we have a noon cocktail or eggnog/rum. Majority of the month I complain about all that has to be done when in all honesty its this working together that I love and that makes the holidays special to me.
This dinner started out when we moved back to Buffalo. I had never used my wedding china and crystal plus living away meant I missed birthdays and family celebrations. I thought how great it would be to bring both sides of the family together on this day. Nothing but positives: My mom wouldn't have to cook, we could see both sidea of the family at the same time, I could prove I had skills in the kitchen. The party was for 11 people and that was 13 years ago.
Today it includes 30 (12 of which are kids) and I serve the following:
Start off course with kir royal, wine and assorted cocktails. Before dinner starts we will break the opwatek (sp?) and wish each other well for 2010.
Course 1 - Lobster bisque and Mushroom soup
Course 2 - Carmelized pecan salad and homemade wreath bread
Course 3 - Poppyseed sour cream noodles and pierogi
Course 4 - Bacon wrapped scallops and shrimp scampi
Course 5 - Massed potatoes, string beans and prime rib
Course 6 - Cranberries and baked haddock
Course 7 - Honey glazed carrots and ginger lime salmon
Course 8 - Gingerbread torte, chocolate cake, Christmas cookies and coffee
Finish with an assortment of liquors
After dinner Santa will make an appearance and we will exchange presents.
Although I spend a fair amount of time bitching, I am so blessed and thankful to be able to do this for my family. We are together and healthy, what more could I ask for?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Happiness or Ignorance
A recent study in Science Magazine stated that New Yorkers rank last on the happiness scale. We are the least satisfied with our lives according to these economists. Wouldn't Jay-Z and Alicia Keys disagree!
Factors such as air quality, traffic congestion, weather, housing prices all played a factor. But I disagree with this criteria. Granted I have been in two hours of traffic and have experienced an earthquake first hand. In neither case would I have described myself as happy. But there is much more to happiness than climate and population. I would like to focus on other discriminating factors.
How about asking about the people you are surrounded by? Are they interesting? Are they bright? Do they move with a purpose? Are you inspired, in awe or amazed by them? Is it diverse?
Maybe looking at opportunities in career, art and entertainment. Are there places to visit that are beautiful? Can you find something fun and intellectually stimulating to do on a Friday night? Is the art scene innovative and thought provoking? Do you have more than one type of cuisine to choose from?
What about energy? Is there any sizzle in the air and a feeling of purpose surrounding you? Are you a better person because of it? Are you part of moving the world?
A couple of the states making the Top 10 happiest included Louisiana, Tennessee, Mississippi, Montana, and Alabama. None of these would have made my top 30 states to live. The slow pace, the accent, the poverty, the ignorance would bring me down on a regular basis. I know I am generalizing, but so is this study so that's ok. Could it be that people in these states don't know any better?
Sorry, I am happy and I am a New Yorker (state anyway).
Factors such as air quality, traffic congestion, weather, housing prices all played a factor. But I disagree with this criteria. Granted I have been in two hours of traffic and have experienced an earthquake first hand. In neither case would I have described myself as happy. But there is much more to happiness than climate and population. I would like to focus on other discriminating factors.
How about asking about the people you are surrounded by? Are they interesting? Are they bright? Do they move with a purpose? Are you inspired, in awe or amazed by them? Is it diverse?
Maybe looking at opportunities in career, art and entertainment. Are there places to visit that are beautiful? Can you find something fun and intellectually stimulating to do on a Friday night? Is the art scene innovative and thought provoking? Do you have more than one type of cuisine to choose from?
What about energy? Is there any sizzle in the air and a feeling of purpose surrounding you? Are you a better person because of it? Are you part of moving the world?
A couple of the states making the Top 10 happiest included Louisiana, Tennessee, Mississippi, Montana, and Alabama. None of these would have made my top 30 states to live. The slow pace, the accent, the poverty, the ignorance would bring me down on a regular basis. I know I am generalizing, but so is this study so that's ok. Could it be that people in these states don't know any better?
Sorry, I am happy and I am a New Yorker (state anyway).
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Praises for the "To Do List"
I am obsessed with making lists. In my kitchen I have an oversized white board, a corresponding cork board and now a matching erasable calendar. Each are covered with lists of what needs to be done and when and sometimes how.
Throughout my career I prided myself on the ability to multi-task and on my exceptional organizational skills. All due to the glorious To Do List. I even have such lists for my husband and son, although they apparently do not get the joy and fulfilled that I get from crossing something off that list.
Yesterday i started to think my old friend the To Do List is becoming a crutch. I started spinning out of control with everything that needs to be done and how little time is available. Ever time I started a task, I was distracted with another and frankly nothing was being accomplished. So I went to my trusty white board, chose a task and finished it! Oh the joy of crossing off an action item.
Now however I am concerned that the list is controlling me. I am starting to believe that I am no longer able to think without a list created telling me what I am supposed to be thinking about. Is this a huge crutch that now prevents me from being spontaneous? And how about the severe depression experienced when I am unable to cross anything off the list?
Oh I know, I will create a list on how to ease myself off the list and learn again how to live in the moment.
Throughout my career I prided myself on the ability to multi-task and on my exceptional organizational skills. All due to the glorious To Do List. I even have such lists for my husband and son, although they apparently do not get the joy and fulfilled that I get from crossing something off that list.
Yesterday i started to think my old friend the To Do List is becoming a crutch. I started spinning out of control with everything that needs to be done and how little time is available. Ever time I started a task, I was distracted with another and frankly nothing was being accomplished. So I went to my trusty white board, chose a task and finished it! Oh the joy of crossing off an action item.
Now however I am concerned that the list is controlling me. I am starting to believe that I am no longer able to think without a list created telling me what I am supposed to be thinking about. Is this a huge crutch that now prevents me from being spontaneous? And how about the severe depression experienced when I am unable to cross anything off the list?
Oh I know, I will create a list on how to ease myself off the list and learn again how to live in the moment.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wrong Number
This morning at 4:23 am the phone rang and scared me out of a lovely dream. I kicked my husband and groaned for him to pick it up. It was a wrong number ... the same wrong number that has been mistakenly calling us for the past 3 months.
The person's last name, according to my caller id it Cho. He is Asian and is severely challenged by the English language. I used to respond to the evening call from Cho with a polite "I'm sorry you have the wrong number. What number were you calling?" Every time I did this, he would call back at least 2 more times. At which point, I would add a little humor to cover my irritation. "No, it's me again. Still the wrong number".
Then we started receiving call from some of Cho's friends. While I am assuming they are friends, as the accent and English challenges are similar but the caller id is Lui or sometimes Kheng. In responding to these I became more firm, especially when the calls were at 11 pm. "The person you are trying to reach is not at this number. You have the wrong number. Remove this number from your speed dial. Please stop calling this number. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
This morning, we started with an exasperated "You have the wrong number." The second call was greeted with "Stop calling here it is 4:30 AM". The third call I yelled "Are you a complete idiot?". The fourth call went to voice mail. The fifth call met with an expletive. The sixth call I picked up and just left the line open. Granted it held up my phone but my friends and family do not call me for no reason at all. Well this was the last call. But the tenacity of this Cho is unbelievable. I mean 6 calls over an hour span>
So how do I stop this? A call in the middle of the night or early morning usually means someone is in the hospital or dead. My heart was racing and it really set off the day in the least pleasant way. Does anyone know how I can block a call from a specific phone number? Cho and his friends are killing me!
The person's last name, according to my caller id it Cho. He is Asian and is severely challenged by the English language. I used to respond to the evening call from Cho with a polite "I'm sorry you have the wrong number. What number were you calling?" Every time I did this, he would call back at least 2 more times. At which point, I would add a little humor to cover my irritation. "No, it's me again. Still the wrong number".
Then we started receiving call from some of Cho's friends. While I am assuming they are friends, as the accent and English challenges are similar but the caller id is Lui or sometimes Kheng. In responding to these I became more firm, especially when the calls were at 11 pm. "The person you are trying to reach is not at this number. You have the wrong number. Remove this number from your speed dial. Please stop calling this number. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
This morning, we started with an exasperated "You have the wrong number." The second call was greeted with "Stop calling here it is 4:30 AM". The third call I yelled "Are you a complete idiot?". The fourth call went to voice mail. The fifth call met with an expletive. The sixth call I picked up and just left the line open. Granted it held up my phone but my friends and family do not call me for no reason at all. Well this was the last call. But the tenacity of this Cho is unbelievable. I mean 6 calls over an hour span>
So how do I stop this? A call in the middle of the night or early morning usually means someone is in the hospital or dead. My heart was racing and it really set off the day in the least pleasant way. Does anyone know how I can block a call from a specific phone number? Cho and his friends are killing me!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
My recycle bin has been stolen
I have been living in this house for about 8 years and the garbage / recycle container thing is bizarre.
Being in the city, we have a large blue garbage can, standard issue from the City of Buffalo. We also have a open blue container for our recyclables. Whether these tools are to prevent rat infestations and promote recycling or just to give our garbage a clean, uniformed look, I like it.
So here's my problem. When we moved in there was no recycle bin associated with the house. After several calls and a time consuming trip to city hall, I came home with our recycle bin and have been using it faithfully ever since.
Early this year, on garbage day, i found an extra garbage can on our front lawn. I wanted for about three days thinking it was mistakenly put in front of my house or that the bad winter weather moved it from its rightful owner. After that time I went to about 6 neighbors asking if they were missing their garbage can. Nope. So I brought it into my yard and now I have two. Hard to believe 3 people can make so much garbage!
So this week, my recycling bin is gone. This is a giant pain especially at the end of the year, where my recycle bin is the perfect tool for hiding the unlimited amount of empty wine bottles under newspaper. I don't want to accuse someone of stealing my recycle bin because of course I have an extra garbage can. But where is it? It has been a full week since it disappeared.
I am thinking about putting up missing posters on the trees down my street.
IF YOU HAVE RECOVERED THIS MISSING FRIEND, PLEASE RETURN TO OWNER. NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
I would like to make a plea that if anyone has a newly found recycle bin, please send it my way (doubtful my neighbors are reading my blog). Cannot bear to have to deal with city hall for another container.
Being in the city, we have a large blue garbage can, standard issue from the City of Buffalo. We also have a open blue container for our recyclables. Whether these tools are to prevent rat infestations and promote recycling or just to give our garbage a clean, uniformed look, I like it.
So here's my problem. When we moved in there was no recycle bin associated with the house. After several calls and a time consuming trip to city hall, I came home with our recycle bin and have been using it faithfully ever since.
Early this year, on garbage day, i found an extra garbage can on our front lawn. I wanted for about three days thinking it was mistakenly put in front of my house or that the bad winter weather moved it from its rightful owner. After that time I went to about 6 neighbors asking if they were missing their garbage can. Nope. So I brought it into my yard and now I have two. Hard to believe 3 people can make so much garbage!
So this week, my recycling bin is gone. This is a giant pain especially at the end of the year, where my recycle bin is the perfect tool for hiding the unlimited amount of empty wine bottles under newspaper. I don't want to accuse someone of stealing my recycle bin because of course I have an extra garbage can. But where is it? It has been a full week since it disappeared.
I am thinking about putting up missing posters on the trees down my street.
IF YOU HAVE RECOVERED THIS MISSING FRIEND, PLEASE RETURN TO OWNER. NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
I would like to make a plea that if anyone has a newly found recycle bin, please send it my way (doubtful my neighbors are reading my blog). Cannot bear to have to deal with city hall for another container.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Baby its cold outside
Last night I spent a fair amount of time complaining about how cold I was. Guess bitching about the weather and why we don't live in a warmer climate was the main point. Feeling sorry for myself because I didn't take my mink coat and because my husband turned down the heat to only 70 degrees. This morning I read the NY Times and really felt like a jerk.
The front page discussed CODE BLUE, a program administered by the NY Department of Homeless Services which tries to prevent the death of homeless people during very cold nights by persuading them to come into a shelter. Living where I do, I also see a fair amount of homeless people. Unfortunately you tend to forget they are people and let them blend in to the background or ignore them while Christmas shopping on Elmwood.
When we first moved here my husband stopped regularly at a corner gas station and mini-mart on his way to work. He would buy himself a cup of coffee for the drive. One day a homeless man, whose mental capacities were also affected, asked him for help. Well how could he not? So my husband would bought this guy coffee and a roll. This became routine and went on for about a couple of weeks; the homeless guy greeting him with a toothless smile and hearty good morning. One day the pierced teenage counter attendant scolded my husband. "Dude, what are you doing? It's because of you this guy is hanging around our store. Cut it out". Shocked my husband responded "The man is hungry and cold. Have a heart." The kid replied "You like him so much, why don't you take him in front of your house and let him enjoy his morning coffee there".
Whether it's fear, heartlessness or the neighbors, I don't want homeless people outside my house. I know its callous but its true. However, I am also thankful for the teams of people who work toward saving the unfortunate from frostbite and even death. I cannot image how difficult it would be to try to help one of these people, putting yourself out there for angry attacks and flat out refusals. I know its a band-aid and that the real help will be programs to prevent people from becoming homeless, but we need the immediate response as well as the long term plan.
By the way, for those of you who do not want health care reform, any idea how these people are going to be taken care of? Or is"death prevention" not part of the agenda?
The front page discussed CODE BLUE, a program administered by the NY Department of Homeless Services which tries to prevent the death of homeless people during very cold nights by persuading them to come into a shelter. Living where I do, I also see a fair amount of homeless people. Unfortunately you tend to forget they are people and let them blend in to the background or ignore them while Christmas shopping on Elmwood.
When we first moved here my husband stopped regularly at a corner gas station and mini-mart on his way to work. He would buy himself a cup of coffee for the drive. One day a homeless man, whose mental capacities were also affected, asked him for help. Well how could he not? So my husband would bought this guy coffee and a roll. This became routine and went on for about a couple of weeks; the homeless guy greeting him with a toothless smile and hearty good morning. One day the pierced teenage counter attendant scolded my husband. "Dude, what are you doing? It's because of you this guy is hanging around our store. Cut it out". Shocked my husband responded "The man is hungry and cold. Have a heart." The kid replied "You like him so much, why don't you take him in front of your house and let him enjoy his morning coffee there".
Whether it's fear, heartlessness or the neighbors, I don't want homeless people outside my house. I know its callous but its true. However, I am also thankful for the teams of people who work toward saving the unfortunate from frostbite and even death. I cannot image how difficult it would be to try to help one of these people, putting yourself out there for angry attacks and flat out refusals. I know its a band-aid and that the real help will be programs to prevent people from becoming homeless, but we need the immediate response as well as the long term plan.
By the way, for those of you who do not want health care reform, any idea how these people are going to be taken care of? Or is"death prevention" not part of the agenda?
Friday, December 18, 2009
Hardly H2O
So apparently our tap water is now tainted. Like we didn't have enough to worry about with melting of the ice caps and the amount of lead in our fish.
It has been over 35 years since the laws regulating tap water have been reviewed. Think of all the scientific advancements and the pharmaceutical newbies that were made in the past 35 years. I understand that our politicians have their hands full and that squeaky wheel gets the oil but let's talk priorities. What has been so urgent and important over the past 35 years that the EPA has not thought to re-address water safety levels. Granted we may not all get ill immediately from these carcinogens and the financial crisis has been a bit of a nightmare, but I still believe someone, somewhere in brain trust called our political leaders should have looked at these risks.
Maybe I should send them a calendar with Dec. 17th To Do : Address safe water issues. I could print off a December page for the next 20 years. Just so they don't forget. Here's an idea, now that we are recycling water bottles (it's about time) maybe those monies could go toward the purchase of such a calendar.
I know there are people out there who will think this is not a priority, that we have different issues. What will those people think when we are all walking around with blistered black mouths from skin infections caused by continued exposure to bad water? Will those same people remember this as being a non-priority issue?
It has been over 35 years since the laws regulating tap water have been reviewed. Think of all the scientific advancements and the pharmaceutical newbies that were made in the past 35 years. I understand that our politicians have their hands full and that squeaky wheel gets the oil but let's talk priorities. What has been so urgent and important over the past 35 years that the EPA has not thought to re-address water safety levels. Granted we may not all get ill immediately from these carcinogens and the financial crisis has been a bit of a nightmare, but I still believe someone, somewhere in brain trust called our political leaders should have looked at these risks.
Maybe I should send them a calendar with Dec. 17th To Do : Address safe water issues. I could print off a December page for the next 20 years. Just so they don't forget. Here's an idea, now that we are recycling water bottles (it's about time) maybe those monies could go toward the purchase of such a calendar.
I know there are people out there who will think this is not a priority, that we have different issues. What will those people think when we are all walking around with blistered black mouths from skin infections caused by continued exposure to bad water? Will those same people remember this as being a non-priority issue?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Debrief, Post Mortem, Gossip
Not sure why, but I have always been a fan of the debrief. You know what I mean. If you are working, its the post-mortem meeting to discuss what went right and wrong after a project ends. It's the debrief to discuss afterwards, what happened during an event. My husband like's to call it the gossip after the party.
I cannot believe I am the only one who feels this way. Why do I love the follow up? Maybe its because I want the event to continue. In the case of a party, you usually miss some of the "action" (that damn cannot be in multiple places at the same time thing). I always here great stories in the next day call. Who flashed whom, who spilled a drink on whom and the ever popular "She said WHAT?"
It also has a logical purpose (most notably in the work situation) which is to determine what was done right and what was done wrong to improve for the next project, party or event. It's constant learning to improve upon yourself and your actions. Oh that's good. I think I will believe that's why I like the follow up - makes me sound better than simply a gossip monger.
Well my party was last night and I am calling it a success. I had a blast and think everyone else was entertained as well. But even though the dishes are washed, the empties put to recycle and the rugs vacuumed, I cannot consider the event over until I have a few follow up calls or emails. Look out ladies!
I cannot believe I am the only one who feels this way. Why do I love the follow up? Maybe its because I want the event to continue. In the case of a party, you usually miss some of the "action" (that damn cannot be in multiple places at the same time thing). I always here great stories in the next day call. Who flashed whom, who spilled a drink on whom and the ever popular "She said WHAT?"
It also has a logical purpose (most notably in the work situation) which is to determine what was done right and what was done wrong to improve for the next project, party or event. It's constant learning to improve upon yourself and your actions. Oh that's good. I think I will believe that's why I like the follow up - makes me sound better than simply a gossip monger.
Well my party was last night and I am calling it a success. I had a blast and think everyone else was entertained as well. But even though the dishes are washed, the empties put to recycle and the rugs vacuumed, I cannot consider the event over until I have a few follow up calls or emails. Look out ladies!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Pastry Swap
Really that's my creative way of saving Cookie Exchange. Heard so much about these events that I have decided I want to throw one. So after coaxing everyone into attendance, I am now stressed about how to make it a festive and memorable event.
I used to throw great parties. My fund raisers were well attended and full of laughs. My dinner parties were delicious and delightful. It may sound like I am a little full of myself, but I really think throwing a party is something I do well. Probably because I enjoy it so much. Well I haven't had a party at my house in a few years (of course not counting the at least monthly family parties). Too many other things going on I guess. Which explains why I am a little nervous about this one.
Last night I was up at 12:30 am and did not go back to sleep until 5 am, which is only an hour before I hear the lovely sound of the URG machine from my son's room. Anyway, I spent the time preparing a menu and decorating the dining room. Once everything opened I ran to Wegmans and to the liquor store. Now all I have to do is put everything together.
To me, having someone over to your house is a big deal. I consider it a huge gesture of warmth and care, so I try hard to make everyone feel comfortable. Of course if a guest is evil I have been known to ask them to leave. Basically revoking future invites as well.
Here are my personal steps to having a great party:
1) Invite people you like. DONE!
2) Have a specialty drink. Kir Royal for tomorrow. Also have plenty of liquor on hand, it seems to make everyone including the hostess more relaxed.
3) Make a ton of food. I have a bunch of new appetizers to create. Remember to let guests know that if all the food is horrible, you will order pizzas. Again, it eliminates the stress.
4) Find party music. Christmas cds for the cookie exchange.
5) Candles and low lights - that way you do not have to focus on too much cleaning and all the things that are wrong with your house.
6) Get everything done at least 2 hours in advance so you can take a hot bath, have a cocktail and be ready to entertain.
Although I am a little anxious, I cannot wait to see my girlfriends. This is the first cookie exchange for several ofmy friends and I think we all have the same attitude: If it doesn't work, have another cocktail and laugh it off. Its just cookies :-)
Wish me luck!
I used to throw great parties. My fund raisers were well attended and full of laughs. My dinner parties were delicious and delightful. It may sound like I am a little full of myself, but I really think throwing a party is something I do well. Probably because I enjoy it so much. Well I haven't had a party at my house in a few years (of course not counting the at least monthly family parties). Too many other things going on I guess. Which explains why I am a little nervous about this one.
Last night I was up at 12:30 am and did not go back to sleep until 5 am, which is only an hour before I hear the lovely sound of the URG machine from my son's room. Anyway, I spent the time preparing a menu and decorating the dining room. Once everything opened I ran to Wegmans and to the liquor store. Now all I have to do is put everything together.
To me, having someone over to your house is a big deal. I consider it a huge gesture of warmth and care, so I try hard to make everyone feel comfortable. Of course if a guest is evil I have been known to ask them to leave. Basically revoking future invites as well.
Here are my personal steps to having a great party:
1) Invite people you like. DONE!
2) Have a specialty drink. Kir Royal for tomorrow. Also have plenty of liquor on hand, it seems to make everyone including the hostess more relaxed.
3) Make a ton of food. I have a bunch of new appetizers to create. Remember to let guests know that if all the food is horrible, you will order pizzas. Again, it eliminates the stress.
4) Find party music. Christmas cds for the cookie exchange.
5) Candles and low lights - that way you do not have to focus on too much cleaning and all the things that are wrong with your house.
6) Get everything done at least 2 hours in advance so you can take a hot bath, have a cocktail and be ready to entertain.
Although I am a little anxious, I cannot wait to see my girlfriends. This is the first cookie exchange for several ofmy friends and I think we all have the same attitude: If it doesn't work, have another cocktail and laugh it off. Its just cookies :-)
Wish me luck!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Climate Activists in Canada
This weekend I was in Toronto walking near Bloor and Yonge Streets when we saw a crowd of semi-nude people in santa hats. About 40 guys and girls between 20 and 50 years old were stripping down to sing in their red bikinis and Speedo's. Caroling for Copenhagen, they were activists looking for action on curbing climate changes.
Well they got our attention! I wish I would have know about this sooner as I would have been one of those people stripping down. Although I don't think my boys would have been too happy about it. What a great idea to gather awareness from the public and get some press on how "we" feel about this incredible issue. I mentioned it in a past blog, but I am adamant about the need for change.
What am I doing? Great question. First, I am paying attention and spreading the word. Second, I am recycling. Third, I am driving less. Fourth, I recently wrote my congressman and made a donation for the cause. Additionally, I support organic gardens and free range poultry. It could be more but it is a start. Next year we will look into buying a hybrid car and even research solar panels.
Although some of the protests in Canada resulted in arrests (Greenpeace seems to attract police), the protests were well attended and I think successful in making a point and getting the public to notice. I am very impressed with people who protest in support of their issues. Non violent protesting that is. Every Saturday you can see the silent protesters on Bidwell and Elmwood standing in unity against the war. I have never really participated in a formal protest. My personal protests against shopping at Walmart really don't compare.
We are fortunate to have the freedom to express ourselves in this way. I hope my son will use this tool and have the courage and determination to stand up for what he believes in.
Well they got our attention! I wish I would have know about this sooner as I would have been one of those people stripping down. Although I don't think my boys would have been too happy about it. What a great idea to gather awareness from the public and get some press on how "we" feel about this incredible issue. I mentioned it in a past blog, but I am adamant about the need for change.
What am I doing? Great question. First, I am paying attention and spreading the word. Second, I am recycling. Third, I am driving less. Fourth, I recently wrote my congressman and made a donation for the cause. Additionally, I support organic gardens and free range poultry. It could be more but it is a start. Next year we will look into buying a hybrid car and even research solar panels.
Although some of the protests in Canada resulted in arrests (Greenpeace seems to attract police), the protests were well attended and I think successful in making a point and getting the public to notice. I am very impressed with people who protest in support of their issues. Non violent protesting that is. Every Saturday you can see the silent protesters on Bidwell and Elmwood standing in unity against the war. I have never really participated in a formal protest. My personal protests against shopping at Walmart really don't compare.
We are fortunate to have the freedom to express ourselves in this way. I hope my son will use this tool and have the courage and determination to stand up for what he believes in.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Change your hair
A while ago, a friend send me a card stating you better like your hair now because once you turn 40 you never change it. I laughed at the time complimenting the Hallmark humor. But it is amazing how a haircut can change my perspective.
When I was younger I changed my hairstyle constantly. After college, the only time my real color was exposed was for my wedding pictures and that's only because my mom insisted on it. I have been a blonde, brunette, even a red head. This head has experienced asymetrical, bobbed, long, short and even shaved styles. You could almost track my priorities, my worries and my insecurities by the hair style I worn.
Now that I am older, I don't seem to make those changes any more. It could be that I have learned better coping mechanisms or that maybe I am less vain (hmmm). But its been several years since I have worn my hair in this pretty much same style. Time for a change.
I went into my salon, where Bill (the beautiful, fabulous and brilliant man who has accepted me as a client) agreed that a change was necessary. Actually , I cannot make a change unless Bill lets me. It is a complicated relationship that we women share with our stylists.
So if my "concerns and considerations" are truly reflected in my hairstyle, looks like I am interested in acting my age, in reflecting a pulled together adult with credibility. That could mean I am feeling a little insecure and need stability. It could mean that I feel a little out of control. IT could also simply mean that the blonde looked washed out, the ends looked damaged and the over all effect was tired.
Let's see what I am feeling in another 2 months when I revisit Bill
When I was younger I changed my hairstyle constantly. After college, the only time my real color was exposed was for my wedding pictures and that's only because my mom insisted on it. I have been a blonde, brunette, even a red head. This head has experienced asymetrical, bobbed, long, short and even shaved styles. You could almost track my priorities, my worries and my insecurities by the hair style I worn.
Now that I am older, I don't seem to make those changes any more. It could be that I have learned better coping mechanisms or that maybe I am less vain (hmmm). But its been several years since I have worn my hair in this pretty much same style. Time for a change.
I went into my salon, where Bill (the beautiful, fabulous and brilliant man who has accepted me as a client) agreed that a change was necessary. Actually , I cannot make a change unless Bill lets me. It is a complicated relationship that we women share with our stylists.
So if my "concerns and considerations" are truly reflected in my hairstyle, looks like I am interested in acting my age, in reflecting a pulled together adult with credibility. That could mean I am feeling a little insecure and need stability. It could mean that I feel a little out of control. IT could also simply mean that the blonde looked washed out, the ends looked damaged and the over all effect was tired.
Let's see what I am feeling in another 2 months when I revisit Bill
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Let it snow!
The first snow day of the season. I don't know what it is but I love a snow day. Maybe its the throw back from those school days when we would wait in front of the TV or listen to the radio just waiting for the announcement. I went to Villa Maria Academy so it was always at the end of the alphabetically ordered list. Since my son has been in school I have had the extra joy of getting a personal phone call for my sister Tami. She has saved me a drive in numerous times when I didn't think to turn on the TV or radio. Now my son's school has an automated service to email and call at 6 am. However, Tami still calls and I love it!
As an adult a snow day has different meanings. For one thing I hate driving in stormy or icy weather. I am concerned about my family and friends getting into accidents so I like to hear the driving ban in on. Unfortunately it doesn't help me with my husband, because he has to go into work anyway.
When I was working it wouldn't matter too much because I always had my laptop and as long as I had power at home and an internet connection, I could work. The only issue was wanting to go outside and play with my son. Distractions were endless.
I feel like I have a free day. We are going to walk Elmwood, wrap gifts and make hot chocolate.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
As an adult a snow day has different meanings. For one thing I hate driving in stormy or icy weather. I am concerned about my family and friends getting into accidents so I like to hear the driving ban in on. Unfortunately it doesn't help me with my husband, because he has to go into work anyway.
When I was working it wouldn't matter too much because I always had my laptop and as long as I had power at home and an internet connection, I could work. The only issue was wanting to go outside and play with my son. Distractions were endless.
I feel like I have a free day. We are going to walk Elmwood, wrap gifts and make hot chocolate.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Hoarding is a Disease
Over the past couple of days, I have heard at least 3 references to the disease of hoarding. At first I thought it was ridiculous. I mean come on, just throw the junk out. But of course nothing is that easy and according to my very limited research, hoarding appears to be a type of obsessive/compulsive behavior.
Here is my problem with this, aren't we all hoarders in some way, shape or form and isn't a certain level of it encouraged? Look at all the trophies and high school honors filling your basements. Check out the baby toys still in the attic even though your baby is in college. I think the real problem is finding balance. Eliminating the gluttony we all display at some point or another and replacing it with a healthy equilibrium. I also cannot believe that no one notices a huge accumulation as it grows and fails to mention to the "patient" that there is a problem and they need some help. The balance was broken really early on and maybe if it was noticed that person could have gotten help earlier. It goes to what is our responsibility as friends and family as well. But let's stick to balance.
You see this emptiness everywhere and it doesn't seem to discriminate by socio-economic conditions, race or religion. Take obesity. You may love that cheesecake and that's not a problem. The problem is finding a balance between what you want and what you should take. I understand it is also control but can't that be considered a balance condition as well. Everyone has some control but find the appropriate mix.
How about hoarding experiences? There are those moments that you just can't let go over. Maybe a friend said something that you can't let go of or a relative borrowed money and you cannot get over it. We need to clean out our memories just like the hoarders need to clean out their homes. Consider the balance idea again. Maybe you forgive your friend and let it go but spend a little less time sharing intimate details. You forget about the cash to your relative but don't lend relatives money again. See a balance that will let you eliminate all this extra baggage.
Its easy to cling to things. Things can provide a context in a confusing situation or can bring back comfortable memories and times. But living in the past and surrounding yourself with stuff only prevents you from experiencing the present and looking toward the future. We could also use some cleaning out.
Here is my problem with this, aren't we all hoarders in some way, shape or form and isn't a certain level of it encouraged? Look at all the trophies and high school honors filling your basements. Check out the baby toys still in the attic even though your baby is in college. I think the real problem is finding balance. Eliminating the gluttony we all display at some point or another and replacing it with a healthy equilibrium. I also cannot believe that no one notices a huge accumulation as it grows and fails to mention to the "patient" that there is a problem and they need some help. The balance was broken really early on and maybe if it was noticed that person could have gotten help earlier. It goes to what is our responsibility as friends and family as well. But let's stick to balance.
You see this emptiness everywhere and it doesn't seem to discriminate by socio-economic conditions, race or religion. Take obesity. You may love that cheesecake and that's not a problem. The problem is finding a balance between what you want and what you should take. I understand it is also control but can't that be considered a balance condition as well. Everyone has some control but find the appropriate mix.
How about hoarding experiences? There are those moments that you just can't let go over. Maybe a friend said something that you can't let go of or a relative borrowed money and you cannot get over it. We need to clean out our memories just like the hoarders need to clean out their homes. Consider the balance idea again. Maybe you forgive your friend and let it go but spend a little less time sharing intimate details. You forget about the cash to your relative but don't lend relatives money again. See a balance that will let you eliminate all this extra baggage.
Its easy to cling to things. Things can provide a context in a confusing situation or can bring back comfortable memories and times. But living in the past and surrounding yourself with stuff only prevents you from experiencing the present and looking toward the future. We could also use some cleaning out.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
A Hypothetical Situation
Let's say hypothetically of course, that you are the mother of a teenage boy and that as you were working with him on his computer you came across a porn site in his site history. Again, this is simply hypothetically because if it really did happen you would be too embarrassed, angry and disappointed in him to think straight much less write about it.
So at first you explode. Actually the very first reaction is disbelief. My baby couldn't possibly have accessed this disgusting trash on purpose. 15 seconds later you realize oh yes he did. Now we are at anger. Is it wrong to scream at the top of your voice that this is not the way you raised him? How about refusing all access to phone, ipod, tv and computer for the next several months or at least until he can prove himself trustworthy? Would it be appropriate to want to beat him senseless?
You scream that you will personally take down all internet pornography. It will be your mission to destroy the adult entertainment industry. All past beliefs that censorship is wrong, have flown out the window. Censor everything!
After you catch your breathe, remember of course that this is all hypothetical, the ager turns to bewilderment. Why on earth would he do this? So you ask the question. But atlas that boy knows you and answers with the "I was just curious. It will never happen again". So when i ( I mean the theoretical you) ask him if he would like to show his grandmother or aunt his new found interest or if he would like to go over the site with his mother and explain what is so fascinating about it, would that be wrong?
Now he is embarrassed and upset, lets ask more questions. Do you need to see the psychiatrist at school to discuss appropriate behavior? Do you feel that the objectification of women is ok? Do you have any respect for the opposite gender? The situation could turn into a "teachable moment" discussing the body, shame, respect and revulsion. Difficult to teach when your heart is beating through your blouse.
Hypothetically, would your husband then step in and have an adult, mature, fatherly conversation with your son? Send him to bed so he can think about his actions. Then proceed to tell me (I mean this mother) that teenage boys in this day and age are curious. That we need to make sure he understands why not only access but pornography and the adult entertainment industry is unacceptable. We need to punish him but he needs to understand. Maybe then your husband makes you a cup of tea, brings you a box of tissues and holds you while you cry about what a failure as a mother you have become. The tears are really shed for the loss of your son's innocence.
You wake up the next morning and you realize that it will not get easier. That the growing up of your son is more than just bigger sized clothes and more homework. You won't see him light up when PLUTO waves to him. He won't run and jump into your lap with his arms wide open anymore. But you will continue to adore him, to love him and to suffer for him. The realization only makes you cry yet again.
Hypothetically, of course.
So at first you explode. Actually the very first reaction is disbelief. My baby couldn't possibly have accessed this disgusting trash on purpose. 15 seconds later you realize oh yes he did. Now we are at anger. Is it wrong to scream at the top of your voice that this is not the way you raised him? How about refusing all access to phone, ipod, tv and computer for the next several months or at least until he can prove himself trustworthy? Would it be appropriate to want to beat him senseless?
You scream that you will personally take down all internet pornography. It will be your mission to destroy the adult entertainment industry. All past beliefs that censorship is wrong, have flown out the window. Censor everything!
After you catch your breathe, remember of course that this is all hypothetical, the ager turns to bewilderment. Why on earth would he do this? So you ask the question. But atlas that boy knows you and answers with the "I was just curious. It will never happen again". So when i ( I mean the theoretical you) ask him if he would like to show his grandmother or aunt his new found interest or if he would like to go over the site with his mother and explain what is so fascinating about it, would that be wrong?
Now he is embarrassed and upset, lets ask more questions. Do you need to see the psychiatrist at school to discuss appropriate behavior? Do you feel that the objectification of women is ok? Do you have any respect for the opposite gender? The situation could turn into a "teachable moment" discussing the body, shame, respect and revulsion. Difficult to teach when your heart is beating through your blouse.
Hypothetically, would your husband then step in and have an adult, mature, fatherly conversation with your son? Send him to bed so he can think about his actions. Then proceed to tell me (I mean this mother) that teenage boys in this day and age are curious. That we need to make sure he understands why not only access but pornography and the adult entertainment industry is unacceptable. We need to punish him but he needs to understand. Maybe then your husband makes you a cup of tea, brings you a box of tissues and holds you while you cry about what a failure as a mother you have become. The tears are really shed for the loss of your son's innocence.
You wake up the next morning and you realize that it will not get easier. That the growing up of your son is more than just bigger sized clothes and more homework. You won't see him light up when PLUTO waves to him. He won't run and jump into your lap with his arms wide open anymore. But you will continue to adore him, to love him and to suffer for him. The realization only makes you cry yet again.
Hypothetically, of course.
Monday, November 30, 2009
What is a body worth?
If you are suffering from albinism then apparently it is worth $75,000. According to an article in the Buffalo News yesterday, albinos are being hunted, persecuted and killed. Witch doctors in Tanzania have propagated the belief that the body parts of albinos provide for good fortune. So said parts are being eaten or maintained as talisman. These people who have done nothing but suffer from a disease completely out of their control are having to deal this bizarre twist to the "Most Dangerous Game". How does this happen in this day and age?
I belief it is the lack of an educated people that creates this nonsense. Many people, politicians included, complain about the money this country sends to try an educate underdeveloped countries. Well this behavior justifies the need for that investment. When you cannot read and think for yourself, witch doctor prophecies provide the perfect direction. A utter absence of science and a total belief in the mystical make this common ground for some people.
The sad b=part is you can see it in our country. Is it such a stretch to belief that people here can be easily swayed? Maybe not by witch doctors or a lack of education but by an intentional closing of one's eyes to the truth in front of you. When you start to ignore science you almost free yourself form responsibility. Take for example Global Warming. How many symposiums, books, and scientists need to confirm this risk before it is believed as fact? And what about our lovely Republican panel of presidential nominees who did not "believe" in evolution? This is closing your eyes to science.
Ignorance must truly be bliss to the ignorant but poison to the rest of us.
I belief it is the lack of an educated people that creates this nonsense. Many people, politicians included, complain about the money this country sends to try an educate underdeveloped countries. Well this behavior justifies the need for that investment. When you cannot read and think for yourself, witch doctor prophecies provide the perfect direction. A utter absence of science and a total belief in the mystical make this common ground for some people.
The sad b=part is you can see it in our country. Is it such a stretch to belief that people here can be easily swayed? Maybe not by witch doctors or a lack of education but by an intentional closing of one's eyes to the truth in front of you. When you start to ignore science you almost free yourself form responsibility. Take for example Global Warming. How many symposiums, books, and scientists need to confirm this risk before it is believed as fact? And what about our lovely Republican panel of presidential nominees who did not "believe" in evolution? This is closing your eyes to science.
Ignorance must truly be bliss to the ignorant but poison to the rest of us.
Friday, November 27, 2009
The Fast and Furious (Running and Eating)
Thanksgiving here was marked by lots of laughs and tons of food. We started the day with the Turkey Trot. All that training was now to be tested. Well we didn't ace this test but we were definitely average!
I could not believe the number of people both runners and sidewalk cheerleaders. We ran into old friends and neighbors, spending the duration walking/running and mostly chitchatting. Happy to say we finished a little over an hour (official results pending) and had a blast! Max did much better with a score under an hour an no muscle pain or heavy breathing. Should mention I am feeling my age today, but totally worth it. TEAM CYWINSKI will be making this an annual event. Maybe costumes next year?
Check out the boys getting reading -->
After a pot of coffee and a 1/2 hour in the hot tub, we were ready to commence feasting. My family celebration was one of the best ever! My mom made the perfect turkey, dad poured the perfect drink, my sister did the most perfect dessert and my brother as always provided the perfect entertainment. Sixteen for dinner. We all ate like it was our last meal and I left that house feeling a little tipsy. On to the inlaws! Another table filled with great food and stimulating conversation. We should schedule monthly Thanksgivings :-).
On the topic of food, the NY Times did a great op piece on eating fast food and eating food fast. Why do we have to eat so much fast food? The Alice Waters "Edible Schoolyard" has always inspired me. We all have the ability to choose what we eat and how much of it we consume. her project to grow inner city school gardens is amazing. Why not choose healthier options... less hormones, less preservations, more naturally grown, more simply prepared? Why not teach our kids the importance of eating right by demonstrating how to do it rather than printing off a pyramid and making it a homework assignment?
As a country we are constantly rushing. Running to work, running the kids to their activities (actually more like driving because if we were really running we would probably be in better shape)! We need to slow down, at least we can start to slow down when it comes to eating it. Fast food makes you sick. Take time to rent and watch "Supersize Me". It will at least help you realize you do have the time to NOT eat fast food.
Today on this hideous "Black Friday" check out the local news and if you are insane enough to participate, look at your fellow freaks in the stores. They are fat. It is not pretty or good for anyone. Consider the words of wisdom from that cinema great ANIMAL HOUSE... (I paraphrase) "Fat and stupid is no way to go through life".
Think about the amazing food you consumed on Thanksgiving, cut it back and realize there is no reason why you couldn't eat like this regularly. Not as much in my case but definitely as fresh!
I could not believe the number of people both runners and sidewalk cheerleaders. We ran into old friends and neighbors, spending the duration walking/running and mostly chitchatting. Happy to say we finished a little over an hour (official results pending) and had a blast! Max did much better with a score under an hour an no muscle pain or heavy breathing. Should mention I am feeling my age today, but totally worth it. TEAM CYWINSKI will be making this an annual event. Maybe costumes next year?
Check out the boys getting reading -->
After a pot of coffee and a 1/2 hour in the hot tub, we were ready to commence feasting. My family celebration was one of the best ever! My mom made the perfect turkey, dad poured the perfect drink, my sister did the most perfect dessert and my brother as always provided the perfect entertainment. Sixteen for dinner. We all ate like it was our last meal and I left that house feeling a little tipsy. On to the inlaws! Another table filled with great food and stimulating conversation. We should schedule monthly Thanksgivings :-).
On the topic of food, the NY Times did a great op piece on eating fast food and eating food fast. Why do we have to eat so much fast food? The Alice Waters "Edible Schoolyard" has always inspired me. We all have the ability to choose what we eat and how much of it we consume. her project to grow inner city school gardens is amazing. Why not choose healthier options... less hormones, less preservations, more naturally grown, more simply prepared? Why not teach our kids the importance of eating right by demonstrating how to do it rather than printing off a pyramid and making it a homework assignment?
As a country we are constantly rushing. Running to work, running the kids to their activities (actually more like driving because if we were really running we would probably be in better shape)! We need to slow down, at least we can start to slow down when it comes to eating it. Fast food makes you sick. Take time to rent and watch "Supersize Me". It will at least help you realize you do have the time to NOT eat fast food.
Today on this hideous "Black Friday" check out the local news and if you are insane enough to participate, look at your fellow freaks in the stores. They are fat. It is not pretty or good for anyone. Consider the words of wisdom from that cinema great ANIMAL HOUSE... (I paraphrase) "Fat and stupid is no way to go through life".
Think about the amazing food you consumed on Thanksgiving, cut it back and realize there is no reason why you couldn't eat like this regularly. Not as much in my case but definitely as fresh!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Embrace Yourself by Corinne Demerau-Best
A good friend of mine recently dropped her latest CD and I wanted to tell everyone to about it. Corinne is an extremely talented song writer and gifted singer who has devoted the proceeds of this latest CD to benefit Roswell Park.
Although I am not much of a music critic, this is a blues CD with some amazing ballads. I was really impressed her and her talent. My top favorite songs are "Embrace Yourself" (lyrics are inspiring), "Crazy (this song really highlights her range), "I Don't Want Our Love to End" (so emotional) and "Lullabye" (loved the music on this one especially the violin). Isn't it incredible when can experience the real talent of a friend?
You can get the CD "Embrace Yourself" by Corinne Demerau- Best at local Buffalo Barnes and Noble stores ($14.99). If you cannot find it, let me know and I will send you a copy. Remember all the proceeds are going to Roswell Park. A great sound for a worthy cause. Spread the word.
Although I am not much of a music critic, this is a blues CD with some amazing ballads. I was really impressed her and her talent. My top favorite songs are "Embrace Yourself" (lyrics are inspiring), "Crazy (this song really highlights her range), "I Don't Want Our Love to End" (so emotional) and "Lullabye" (loved the music on this one especially the violin). Isn't it incredible when can experience the real talent of a friend?
You can get the CD "Embrace Yourself" by Corinne Demerau- Best at local Buffalo Barnes and Noble stores ($14.99). If you cannot find it, let me know and I will send you a copy. Remember all the proceeds are going to Roswell Park. A great sound for a worthy cause. Spread the word.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Task Completed - Skill Level Mastered?
As I continue my quest to try new things and maybe master some, I found myself at Joanne's feeling creative. A beautiful soft plaid caught my eye and i decided I would now take on the role of seamstress. To be fair it is not that outlandish of an idea. I have a sewing machine downstairs on the boulevard of broken dreams and have made curtains or the occasional pillow in the past. How hard can it be to make a skirt? Additionally my mother is a seamstress, with numerous gowns, suits and clothing successes to her name. Maybe the DNA transferred well. Or maybe not.
So I laid out the material, cut it and then decided the pattern instructions were apparently written in Greek because I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Checking sewing jargon on line is not a fun task and really does not help in the actual understanding of the directions. So I called mom but she was too busy to help so it looks like I was on my own. Now I have talked myself into believing that I can do anything and it is ridiculous to think this is beyond me. I pitched the pattern and decided I could figure it out myself.
I DID IT! Oh yes, I am brilliant. Now don't look too close because the whole zipper thing is off and not all of the plaid matches perfectly but hell I made a skirt. Check that off of my things to do list.
This is going to be an amazing Thanksgiving. First running the turkey trot and then sporting my new skirt. A holiday of firsts.
Monday, November 23, 2009
"The Boss"
Last night friends of ours took us and 4 teenage boys to the Bruce Springsteen concert. Although I was never a huge fan, I have to say it was one of the best concerts we've seen. The entire bands was incredible.
Bruce is 60 and in incredible shape. The guy never stopped moving, jumping across the stage and running through the audience. Within the first 25 minutes of the show, he jumped into the audience and body surfed back to the stage. Keep in mind the "kids" in this mosh pit were middle aged or baby boomers. At one point I thought they'd collapse or drop him. What a horrible Buffalo story that would make. But he made it, jumped back on stage and never missed a beat. At one point he also did a back bend to the floor! I'm having Matty work on that move now.
The chemistry between all the band members was amazing. It was like watching old friends just hanging out and having a blast. It seemed like they really did not want to stop. Evident by the almost 4 hour concert. Needless to say the boys will be cranky today.
But the best part of the show was watching my son and his three buddies, jumping dancing and even singing all night. I have not idea what they were singing, as none of them really knew the lyrics. They were rockin' and loving every minute of it. The worst part was that my friend Tracy wasn't there and she is his biggest fan.
Thanks Bruuuuuuce!
Bruce is 60 and in incredible shape. The guy never stopped moving, jumping across the stage and running through the audience. Within the first 25 minutes of the show, he jumped into the audience and body surfed back to the stage. Keep in mind the "kids" in this mosh pit were middle aged or baby boomers. At one point I thought they'd collapse or drop him. What a horrible Buffalo story that would make. But he made it, jumped back on stage and never missed a beat. At one point he also did a back bend to the floor! I'm having Matty work on that move now.
The chemistry between all the band members was amazing. It was like watching old friends just hanging out and having a blast. It seemed like they really did not want to stop. Evident by the almost 4 hour concert. Needless to say the boys will be cranky today.
But the best part of the show was watching my son and his three buddies, jumping dancing and even singing all night. I have not idea what they were singing, as none of them really knew the lyrics. They were rockin' and loving every minute of it. The worst part was that my friend Tracy wasn't there and she is his biggest fan.
Thanks Bruuuuuuce!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Still Shaking
Yesterday I was leaving the club at about 6:30 pm with my son and a coupe of his friends in tow. I was in a fabulous mood as I had just finished speaking with a good friend, discussing her cd release. The boys were also pretty excited as they had finished a solid yet competitive squash lesson.
I was pulling out of the parking lot onto the side street. It was raining and very dark. No street lights in the middle of the street, so the only illumination came form the traffic lights at either end. I was stopped trying to make a left hand turn. There was a huge white hummer blocking my ability to make the turn. I think she was trying to get into the club parking lot but was waiting for me to pull out, which I could not do because she was in my way. Eventually she grew tired of waiting, and continued down the street. So I started to pull out and... immediately slammed on my breaks! (Always make the kids were their seat belts). Some woman in a dark suit was directly in front of my car in the street. She was apparently crossing the street in the middle of the block and was hidden by the hummer. I could not see her until my headlights were focused on her. Thank God, Allah, Buddha and the like that I was able to see her and stop in time. I was going slow and basically sliding out of the parking lot otherwise this could have been disasterous.
Needless to say my heart was in my throat and I was shaking. Feeling frightening and frankly terrified of what could have happen, I looked at her. She was screaming at me! She stood in the street in the dark making wild hand gestures like this whole incident was strictly my fault. Did I mention she was in a dark suit, in the dark and rain, crossing in the middle of the road into a parking lot?? I sincerely did not know what to do. I continued to stare until the boys nudged me to move.
This could have been a horrible accident and I am so thankful that the only thing hurt was my nerves. I am embarrassed that I could not see her and so sorry that I almost hit her. But is is wrong of me to want her to realize how dangerous her actions were? And also to realize that standing in the middle of the street yelling at me in the dark is not such a bright idea either?
Dropped the boys off, made dinner, complained to my husband and 3 hours later still could not calm down. Still feeling off today. Think I may not drive this weekend.
I was pulling out of the parking lot onto the side street. It was raining and very dark. No street lights in the middle of the street, so the only illumination came form the traffic lights at either end. I was stopped trying to make a left hand turn. There was a huge white hummer blocking my ability to make the turn. I think she was trying to get into the club parking lot but was waiting for me to pull out, which I could not do because she was in my way. Eventually she grew tired of waiting, and continued down the street. So I started to pull out and... immediately slammed on my breaks! (Always make the kids were their seat belts). Some woman in a dark suit was directly in front of my car in the street. She was apparently crossing the street in the middle of the block and was hidden by the hummer. I could not see her until my headlights were focused on her. Thank God, Allah, Buddha and the like that I was able to see her and stop in time. I was going slow and basically sliding out of the parking lot otherwise this could have been disasterous.
Needless to say my heart was in my throat and I was shaking. Feeling frightening and frankly terrified of what could have happen, I looked at her. She was screaming at me! She stood in the street in the dark making wild hand gestures like this whole incident was strictly my fault. Did I mention she was in a dark suit, in the dark and rain, crossing in the middle of the road into a parking lot?? I sincerely did not know what to do. I continued to stare until the boys nudged me to move.
This could have been a horrible accident and I am so thankful that the only thing hurt was my nerves. I am embarrassed that I could not see her and so sorry that I almost hit her. But is is wrong of me to want her to realize how dangerous her actions were? And also to realize that standing in the middle of the street yelling at me in the dark is not such a bright idea either?
Dropped the boys off, made dinner, complained to my husband and 3 hours later still could not calm down. Still feeling off today. Think I may not drive this weekend.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Holiday Music Conspiracy
Why do we have two local radio stations playing all holiday music all day? I find a nice Thanksgiving hostess gift because all the stores have changed to Christmas. I am receiving at least 5 catalogues a day informing me that I can be assured to get my product before Christmas. It is the middle of November, I have not even figured out Thanksgiving yet and already I am bombarded. I think there is a conspiracy.
My thought is that the government is forcing media and retail to push Christmas as early as possible, thus making us all crazy in November and our minds so weak that we will forget the real issues that are going on the world. If I hear "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" I will be thinking about all the gifts I need to buy as opposed to the Health Care Reform Bill. If I get a ton of catalogues pushing the Christmas gift, I will be thinking about wrapping and decorating, not about the other mail of poor investment returns, sky rocketing interest rates and increase fuel costs. If everywhere I look I see Christmas decorations, I will be stressing about parties and entertaining as opposed to Afghanistan and our troops.
What an ingenious idea! For the months of November and December I am so "consumerized" and frantic that I cannot possibly care about the real world. Doesn't that give our politicians a well deserved break so they can push through any corrupt, whittled down, irrelevant piece of legislation without question or backlash?
Maybe it's not that much of a scheme. Maybe the Christmas music is enough to make you brain dead. I just heard "The Christmas Donkey. What the hell is that? This Thanksgiving I will be thankful for SIRIUS radio and the ability to change stations.
My thought is that the government is forcing media and retail to push Christmas as early as possible, thus making us all crazy in November and our minds so weak that we will forget the real issues that are going on the world. If I hear "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" I will be thinking about all the gifts I need to buy as opposed to the Health Care Reform Bill. If I get a ton of catalogues pushing the Christmas gift, I will be thinking about wrapping and decorating, not about the other mail of poor investment returns, sky rocketing interest rates and increase fuel costs. If everywhere I look I see Christmas decorations, I will be stressing about parties and entertaining as opposed to Afghanistan and our troops.
What an ingenious idea! For the months of November and December I am so "consumerized" and frantic that I cannot possibly care about the real world. Doesn't that give our politicians a well deserved break so they can push through any corrupt, whittled down, irrelevant piece of legislation without question or backlash?
Maybe it's not that much of a scheme. Maybe the Christmas music is enough to make you brain dead. I just heard "The Christmas Donkey. What the hell is that? This Thanksgiving I will be thankful for SIRIUS radio and the ability to change stations.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Capital Punishment for Identity Thieves
I am in hell and apparently all the people around me who are supposed to be "helping" are complete idiots at best. You may ask what has prompted such ugliness...IDENTITY THEFT!
About 4 months ago, my husband's identity was stolen by some audacious individual in NYC. I spent hours upon hours closing accounts, recreating passwords, answering inquiring emails, talking to fraud departments and completing forms to ensure that this person could not destroy our entire financial well being. Today I find that it has started again.
You see you can put a fraud alert on your all holy consumer credit by completing some paperwork. Well that lasts for 3 months (by the way no one sends an email stating that the alert is off the account). You can get a 7 year alert on your ssn but only if you complete a huge document and the go to your local police department to file a report. The cops must love this as the instructions telling you to see your police all include a letter to show them if they refuse to file the report. Well I believe the Buffalo cops are busy with other things and I did not relish going to the station so i only did the 3 month report. Now I am now experiencing my punishment.
I have to refill the reports. I just had a huge fight with my bank. BTW did you know that a bank is now forbidden to give out the branch phone numbers? WTF? So apparently even though i closed the account, someone was able to debit $500 and they want me to pay the overdraft fee? The customer service guy at the bank informed me "sometimes you can still get money if you close the account". Is he a complete idiot or am I for speaking with him? Obviously the guy was new and confused but come on. This is ridiculous.
I think the identity thieves are in bed with customer service personnel. The customer service people I am dealing with apparently never finished 1st grade. First you have to explain the situation only to be moved to another help person. Then you explain it to them only to be told you are wrong. I am told what is happening to me cannot happen. WOW - I am an anomaly.
I can't write any more because I have to physically go into the bank as my situation cannot be handled on the phone. Of course, I found that out after an hour on the phone.
I am going to start a new grass roots effort to demand capital punishment for all identity thieves. Or even better, we should make them deal with the customer service rocket scientists. That would be worse!
About 4 months ago, my husband's identity was stolen by some audacious individual in NYC. I spent hours upon hours closing accounts, recreating passwords, answering inquiring emails, talking to fraud departments and completing forms to ensure that this person could not destroy our entire financial well being. Today I find that it has started again.
You see you can put a fraud alert on your all holy consumer credit by completing some paperwork. Well that lasts for 3 months (by the way no one sends an email stating that the alert is off the account). You can get a 7 year alert on your ssn but only if you complete a huge document and the go to your local police department to file a report. The cops must love this as the instructions telling you to see your police all include a letter to show them if they refuse to file the report. Well I believe the Buffalo cops are busy with other things and I did not relish going to the station so i only did the 3 month report. Now I am now experiencing my punishment.
I have to refill the reports. I just had a huge fight with my bank. BTW did you know that a bank is now forbidden to give out the branch phone numbers? WTF? So apparently even though i closed the account, someone was able to debit $500 and they want me to pay the overdraft fee? The customer service guy at the bank informed me "sometimes you can still get money if you close the account". Is he a complete idiot or am I for speaking with him? Obviously the guy was new and confused but come on. This is ridiculous.
I think the identity thieves are in bed with customer service personnel. The customer service people I am dealing with apparently never finished 1st grade. First you have to explain the situation only to be moved to another help person. Then you explain it to them only to be told you are wrong. I am told what is happening to me cannot happen. WOW - I am an anomaly.
I can't write any more because I have to physically go into the bank as my situation cannot be handled on the phone. Of course, I found that out after an hour on the phone.
I am going to start a new grass roots effort to demand capital punishment for all identity thieves. Or even better, we should make them deal with the customer service rocket scientists. That would be worse!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Wasting the Day
Was feeling pretty down yesterday for no known reason and decided to do nothing. Of course, when I say that what I really mean is to do nothing important. Here are my top 10 time wasters:
10) Read the million of catalogues that have been piling up on my desk. Go through each, earmark the pages of things I may want to buy and then toss them all out into the recycle bin.
9) Walk through each room of the house with a notebook and pen. Sit in the most central place in the room (even if on the floor) and write down everything that needs to be repaired (I live in a house that is over a century old so this list can be large). When finished, walk quickly through each room again and realize the house if fine. Toss list into recycle bin.
8) Google vacations. (We need to think about where to go this Spring Break as missed vacation last year to concentrate on the boat. I am in dire need of a beach.) Make a list of the best islands for diving, water sports, and beaches. View every photo available. Decide it is too much to decide right now. Toss the list into the recycle bin.
7) Open refrigerator and stare at food options. Open freezer door and do the same. Walk to downstairs refrigerator and repeat process. Go back to first refrigerator and throw our all food that is hairy, limp or wet.
6) Go to each closet. Find the clothes I love that do not fit and simply hold them up to me. Try on some other clothes and throw them on the bed or floor. Go through Max and Matty's closets taking the old and ugly out. Make a bag for St. Vincent dePaul, a bag for the trash, a bag for my sister-in-law. Put questionable bags in spare room and leave them for next clothing fit.
My recycle and garbage bins are now full, have to switch to other time wasters.
5) Look at book shelve in library. Collect books recommended by Matthew that I have not yet read and make a pile. Go to shelves in Living Room and Bedroom making more piles. Get all piles together and put next to bed. Realize I do not feel like reading, leave room.
4) Open up all the boxes of crafts up stairs and think about what I want to make. Handle fabric, ball yarn and review patterns. Check status of paints, brushes and canvases. Sit and think of all the things I could make. Too many options, plan on looking at it another day.
3) Search for a job. Go to the online boards and find my perfect job. Write a cover letter, attached resume and email to myself. I am not going back to work just yet...and certainly not moving to LA.
2) Go through exercise magazines cutting out specific butt/abs exercises. Do this in the basement next to the dusty Bow Flex. Try to do one or two (note I have not put on work out clothes so this is half ass at best). Realize they could work but that I don't feel like working out. Leave mags and cut outs on floor next to 5 pound weights.
1) Run a hot bubble bath, turn the volume up super loud on a favored opera, pour a glass of wine and soak until my skin is melting.
Day wasted but I feel better. :-)
10) Read the million of catalogues that have been piling up on my desk. Go through each, earmark the pages of things I may want to buy and then toss them all out into the recycle bin.
9) Walk through each room of the house with a notebook and pen. Sit in the most central place in the room (even if on the floor) and write down everything that needs to be repaired (I live in a house that is over a century old so this list can be large). When finished, walk quickly through each room again and realize the house if fine. Toss list into recycle bin.
8) Google vacations. (We need to think about where to go this Spring Break as missed vacation last year to concentrate on the boat. I am in dire need of a beach.) Make a list of the best islands for diving, water sports, and beaches. View every photo available. Decide it is too much to decide right now. Toss the list into the recycle bin.
7) Open refrigerator and stare at food options. Open freezer door and do the same. Walk to downstairs refrigerator and repeat process. Go back to first refrigerator and throw our all food that is hairy, limp or wet.
6) Go to each closet. Find the clothes I love that do not fit and simply hold them up to me. Try on some other clothes and throw them on the bed or floor. Go through Max and Matty's closets taking the old and ugly out. Make a bag for St. Vincent dePaul, a bag for the trash, a bag for my sister-in-law. Put questionable bags in spare room and leave them for next clothing fit.
My recycle and garbage bins are now full, have to switch to other time wasters.
5) Look at book shelve in library. Collect books recommended by Matthew that I have not yet read and make a pile. Go to shelves in Living Room and Bedroom making more piles. Get all piles together and put next to bed. Realize I do not feel like reading, leave room.
4) Open up all the boxes of crafts up stairs and think about what I want to make. Handle fabric, ball yarn and review patterns. Check status of paints, brushes and canvases. Sit and think of all the things I could make. Too many options, plan on looking at it another day.
3) Search for a job. Go to the online boards and find my perfect job. Write a cover letter, attached resume and email to myself. I am not going back to work just yet...and certainly not moving to LA.
2) Go through exercise magazines cutting out specific butt/abs exercises. Do this in the basement next to the dusty Bow Flex. Try to do one or two (note I have not put on work out clothes so this is half ass at best). Realize they could work but that I don't feel like working out. Leave mags and cut outs on floor next to 5 pound weights.
1) Run a hot bubble bath, turn the volume up super loud on a favored opera, pour a glass of wine and soak until my skin is melting.
Day wasted but I feel better. :-)
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wanting to Believe - Psychic Thoughts
I had to write about my friend's blog regarding her psychic experience. The lovely Sarah has an interesting blog site and this morning she commented on the supernatural. I know a lot of people who are intrigued by extrasensory perception, myself included. There are probably a ton of reasons ranging from curiosity about the unknown (similar to reading the last chapter of the book as soon as you get it) to abdication of responsibility (if this is going to happen I really can't do anything different).
I am not sure where I fall within this spectrum but hope its more toward curiosity. Actually I really want to believe but don't. I would consider myself an existentialist and therefore believe that I control my own destiny. There is not predestination or defined path for me. So if that's true how can you tell me the future? Ghost reading or spirit contact? No interest in hearing what ghosts have to say as the thought scares me to tears which is a dilemma for me because I am scared of something I don't believe it.
I do think some people are more perceptive then others and maybe even have such accurate sensory skills that they can pick up on clues that others cannot. I think it is close minded to completely dispute any heighten perception, but the charlatans have made it a money making joke. But that is as far as I can go logically.
Wouldn't it be nice to pretend there is some better power out there? To have a psychic who knows what will happen and can direct you or guide you? No longer do I have to worry about family, health, money or success because my psychic has it all figured out!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
VIdeo Game Desires
My son loves video games. No just any and all, he gravitates toward the first person shooter with scenes of war, nuclear holocaust and alien nations. I used to view all the games he wanted to be sure they were kid appropriate. They weren't, they aren't, I forbid, we argued and now I have acquiesced. Losing this battle but hoping to win the war as they say.
Anyway, he came to me Sunday to see if I wanted to perform a "quest" for him. With that only-for-mom smile, puppy dog eyes and sing song voice he provided me with about different gift cards. He had to have the new Call of Duty video game which came out that morning. I said we could go after school but no it just wasn't good enough - the game had to be in hand asap to avert the "sold out" or "waiting list" respond. I guess I should have been thankful as he stated his friend's dad waited at the store at midnight and let that kid play for two hours pre-dawn on a school night! I couldn't refuse his request.
So with his gift cards in one hand a new large TIm Horton's in the other, I entered the store at about 10:00 am. Found the clerk and asked if he new of some new release Call of Duty. He gave me a "I know so much more than you do " look, clarified the name and pointed to a line of about 8 people. Oh yes, 8 adults standing in line in the morning to get a video game. Could they all be doating moms like myself? Apparently not. At least 6 were mid twenty something guys. What no jobs? I was privy to the language of this gaming set as I overheard who beat what when. It was like i was in PAris again - everyone speaking a language I had no idea about. I left, game in hand, with a plan.
Of course giving the game to my son was one of those great mom moments. I teased him for about an hour. He was thrilled to have the game (and the gift certificates back because I just cannot have him spend his own money - another issue for a different rant). I let me play last night for about an hour and then that was it. After hubby and son went to bed, I snuck downstairs and popped in said video game. About 20 minutes of figuring out how to use it, I started my plan to really understand the allure. Fifteen minutes later I was done. I don't get it. Shephard and Captain, airplanes firing, forts, scuba. Sounds like it should be quite the adventure. Well it makes me dizzy.
Happy I tried it. Won't be trying it again. Too old for playing but just right fro buying.
Anyway, he came to me Sunday to see if I wanted to perform a "quest" for him. With that only-for-mom smile, puppy dog eyes and sing song voice he provided me with about different gift cards. He had to have the new Call of Duty video game which came out that morning. I said we could go after school but no it just wasn't good enough - the game had to be in hand asap to avert the "sold out" or "waiting list" respond. I guess I should have been thankful as he stated his friend's dad waited at the store at midnight and let that kid play for two hours pre-dawn on a school night! I couldn't refuse his request.
So with his gift cards in one hand a new large TIm Horton's in the other, I entered the store at about 10:00 am. Found the clerk and asked if he new of some new release Call of Duty. He gave me a "I know so much more than you do " look, clarified the name and pointed to a line of about 8 people. Oh yes, 8 adults standing in line in the morning to get a video game. Could they all be doating moms like myself? Apparently not. At least 6 were mid twenty something guys. What no jobs? I was privy to the language of this gaming set as I overheard who beat what when. It was like i was in PAris again - everyone speaking a language I had no idea about. I left, game in hand, with a plan.
Of course giving the game to my son was one of those great mom moments. I teased him for about an hour. He was thrilled to have the game (and the gift certificates back because I just cannot have him spend his own money - another issue for a different rant). I let me play last night for about an hour and then that was it. After hubby and son went to bed, I snuck downstairs and popped in said video game. About 20 minutes of figuring out how to use it, I started my plan to really understand the allure. Fifteen minutes later I was done. I don't get it. Shephard and Captain, airplanes firing, forts, scuba. Sounds like it should be quite the adventure. Well it makes me dizzy.
Happy I tried it. Won't be trying it again. Too old for playing but just right fro buying.
Taking a World Wonder for Granted
We have a house guest. A beautiful and sweet ballerina who is staying with us for a month. This is her first time in Buffalo and we want to make sure she has a good impression of WNY and all our joys. Of course the best way to do that is to show her our assets. What better way to start than a visit to Niagara Falls.
Although we live less than 30 minutes away, we hardly ever visit. I can't ever remember having a bad time on a Niagara Falls visit or a time I was less than amazed. But still we only visit as bragging rights to out of town friends. It turned out that this visit did not disappoint.
The weather cooperated and I think our giant water fall made a lasting impression on our guest. We drove past the thunderous rapids, walked though the flower gardens and ran past the mist overspray. It was an absolutely gorgeous and inspiring day. Cannot believe I just take it for granted.
Although we live less than 30 minutes away, we hardly ever visit. I can't ever remember having a bad time on a Niagara Falls visit or a time I was less than amazed. But still we only visit as bragging rights to out of town friends. It turned out that this visit did not disappoint.
The weather cooperated and I think our giant water fall made a lasting impression on our guest. We drove past the thunderous rapids, walked though the flower gardens and ran past the mist overspray. It was an absolutely gorgeous and inspiring day. Cannot believe I just take it for granted.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Ladies Discussing Strippers
I am fortunate enough to belong to a book club of intelligent, opinionated and funny women who love to read and love to digress. This past weekend my very civilized book club went off book topic and started to discuss strippers. Don't ask me how we fell into topic; it seems we often fall into controversial talks.
Because I am usually the most vocal and the most pushy of the group, I waited until I heard from the rest to offer my opinions. "D" started by stating that she was at a strip club and went into detail about a certain coin trick that was performed. At that point "T" clearly expressed her opinion that the topic, the profession and the all players involved are disgusting. "T" was done with it. Seems "DI" and "L", who are the eldest members of the group, were also pretty quiet and felt like "T". Ah it was my turn to keep the momentum going.
I am not sure exactly how I feel about the industry. I am fan of live and let live but I cannot believe that the industry is harmless to the dancers. There is no way I can believe that girls want to be objectified in this manner. It's not like topless dancer is right up there with doctor, lawyer, teacher, stockbroker. I feel most girls who enter the profession either do not see any other realistic (lucrative) choices or are dealing with significant self-esteem issues. So i already feel very bad for these girls. It's really the customers I have issue with.
Now I even cut the men a little slack, as I do believe they are the weaker gender. No doubt the dancers are salacious and that uneasy feeling of being bad may even be enticing for some men. But come on, is it really that much fun to act like animals? They have to realize its a business and its all an illusion. They also have to realize that these girls are daughters, sisters and sometimes mothers. I would guess that if every guy took one minute at a strip club to think about who these girls really are, they would not return. And if there are no customers there is no money. If there is no money in the business, the business closes.
Probably most guys i know, including my husband, have been to a Gentlemen's Club. Although I don't like it, I'm really not that angered by the occasional bachelor party. Maybe that's because it is extremely occasional and my husband doesn't really seem to care. I do think that a man's consistent or regular visits are systemic of a greater issue with him. Seek help.
I think we as women have a responsibility here. First we need to help girls realize their options. Not-for-profit organizations like WNY Women's Fund are fighting hard to attack the challenges facing women and girls. Donate. Second, we need to let our men know how we feel about these places. Not by screaming at them or forbidding them to go - which only makes it more enticing for them. You know if your hubby really wants to see a stripper, put on your granny undies, jump on the coffee table and pillage his wallet. Same result. :-)
Because I am usually the most vocal and the most pushy of the group, I waited until I heard from the rest to offer my opinions. "D" started by stating that she was at a strip club and went into detail about a certain coin trick that was performed. At that point "T" clearly expressed her opinion that the topic, the profession and the all players involved are disgusting. "T" was done with it. Seems "DI" and "L", who are the eldest members of the group, were also pretty quiet and felt like "T". Ah it was my turn to keep the momentum going.
I am not sure exactly how I feel about the industry. I am fan of live and let live but I cannot believe that the industry is harmless to the dancers. There is no way I can believe that girls want to be objectified in this manner. It's not like topless dancer is right up there with doctor, lawyer, teacher, stockbroker. I feel most girls who enter the profession either do not see any other realistic (lucrative) choices or are dealing with significant self-esteem issues. So i already feel very bad for these girls. It's really the customers I have issue with.
Now I even cut the men a little slack, as I do believe they are the weaker gender. No doubt the dancers are salacious and that uneasy feeling of being bad may even be enticing for some men. But come on, is it really that much fun to act like animals? They have to realize its a business and its all an illusion. They also have to realize that these girls are daughters, sisters and sometimes mothers. I would guess that if every guy took one minute at a strip club to think about who these girls really are, they would not return. And if there are no customers there is no money. If there is no money in the business, the business closes.
Probably most guys i know, including my husband, have been to a Gentlemen's Club. Although I don't like it, I'm really not that angered by the occasional bachelor party. Maybe that's because it is extremely occasional and my husband doesn't really seem to care. I do think that a man's consistent or regular visits are systemic of a greater issue with him. Seek help.
I think we as women have a responsibility here. First we need to help girls realize their options. Not-for-profit organizations like WNY Women's Fund are fighting hard to attack the challenges facing women and girls. Donate. Second, we need to let our men know how we feel about these places. Not by screaming at them or forbidding them to go - which only makes it more enticing for them. You know if your hubby really wants to see a stripper, put on your granny undies, jump on the coffee table and pillage his wallet. Same result. :-)
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Unemployment Blues for the Employed
As you can probably tell, I am not employed. Well not really. I do a little consulting and have been trying to convince my husband I am a working Trophy Wife, but for all statistical purposes I would be considered purposefully unemployed and I am happy about that. I am much more fortunate than the people represented in the new 17.5% unemployment rate.
This number represents those people who having been looking for jobs for as long as year. Where are the jobs going to come from? How are these people supposed to survive? These numbers are scary and there is really no end in the immediate future. How did we let it get so bad? We ignored it. We watched our country give up manufacturing plants and production of just about everything believing it didn't. Well it does.
Consider also how unemployment rates affect the employed.Do you know anyone who is unhappy in there current position? I do. My friend is miserable in his job. He is being taken advantage on a daily basis. Although he is a brilliant man and an extremely hard worker, he continues to struggle with a disinterested management team, a overburdened staff and no change in sight. In different economic times, he would be actively circulating his resume, going on multiple interviews and considering offers. Not now. Now he is dealing with the lack of money at his company to properly run the business, the inability to perform to his usual standards, and a bout of depression than follows him home nightly. He has kids to put through college, a mortgage to pay and the luxurious need for health care. He cannot quit without knowing where he can obtain the next paycheck.
I also have friend who goes to work daily waiting for the pink slip. She is skilled and makes top dollar for her abilities and experiences. The problem is the company can hire new talent that will work for much less. Some of these people just as experienced but not as lucky, as she is.
Everyone has stories of work place issues and although you want to say "shut up and deal with it - you're lucky to be working", they are not happy and that is permeating into everyones life. Unemployment affects us all working or not working. We all need to be thinking about a way to help. Any ideas?
This number represents those people who having been looking for jobs for as long as year. Where are the jobs going to come from? How are these people supposed to survive? These numbers are scary and there is really no end in the immediate future. How did we let it get so bad? We ignored it. We watched our country give up manufacturing plants and production of just about everything believing it didn't. Well it does.
Consider also how unemployment rates affect the employed.Do you know anyone who is unhappy in there current position? I do. My friend is miserable in his job. He is being taken advantage on a daily basis. Although he is a brilliant man and an extremely hard worker, he continues to struggle with a disinterested management team, a overburdened staff and no change in sight. In different economic times, he would be actively circulating his resume, going on multiple interviews and considering offers. Not now. Now he is dealing with the lack of money at his company to properly run the business, the inability to perform to his usual standards, and a bout of depression than follows him home nightly. He has kids to put through college, a mortgage to pay and the luxurious need for health care. He cannot quit without knowing where he can obtain the next paycheck.
I also have friend who goes to work daily waiting for the pink slip. She is skilled and makes top dollar for her abilities and experiences. The problem is the company can hire new talent that will work for much less. Some of these people just as experienced but not as lucky, as she is.
Everyone has stories of work place issues and although you want to say "shut up and deal with it - you're lucky to be working", they are not happy and that is permeating into everyones life. Unemployment affects us all working or not working. We all need to be thinking about a way to help. Any ideas?
Friday, November 6, 2009
Why are we so angry
Yesterday my day started off so well. I had a vigorous workout gaining inspiration and encouragement from my favorite gym-buddy. Later I ate lunch with two men who provided me with stimulating conversation, not too mention many laughs. I wrote for awhile, I went grocery shopping and I downloaded some new music. Talk about being happy. Then I turned on the TV to see the headline "At least 12 killed in shooting at Fort Hood Army Base in Texas". My heart sank. Although all the details were not known at that time, two army personnel are presumably responsible. What made them so angry that they had to shoot innocent people?
I then turned to the local news to see that a Niagara Falls high school boy raped a classmate that day. Rape is a crime of anger not passion. Sever anger again. The day is plummeting.
Now I am thinking about it. THese two horrific events are terrible but what about the daily anger. Notice the attitude of people lately. Remember the town hall meetings to discuss health care reform? Citizens yelling and accusing and filled with hatred. Where is all this anger coming from? I understand the economy is bad, but we've been through rough financial times. I understand we are passionate about our health care but we do not need to be belligerent and evil. That is not an adult dialogue.
Even little things like the lovely hand gesture from a fellow driver when you failed to yield. Or the attitude from the sales clerk when you typed in the wrong debit card pin numbers. A couple of days ago, I even had a certain sports coach hang up on me because I couldn't make a tournament.
I thought I should research the orgin of anger. There is so much information on this topic that I could write a book (not enough time, energy or talent for that). The main point i found from this information is that anger results from how people view a situation or predicament. If that is true, it sounds simple enough to fix. Change the way people view their situation. Give us the tools to take a step back and view what is happening or has happened to us in the best light possible. Is that really so insurmountable?
Interesting that there is so much anger now when you think about the media lately. Would we be less angry if we focused on the fact that we have not had another sever terrorist attack instead of focusing on our vulnerability? Would we be less angry if we focused on the positive efforts our new president has made instead of rebuking his Nobel prize? How about focusing on the improvements in the economy instead of telling the unemployed that we are all better now? I am not saying to ignore the numerous issues we have, I am saying focus on the positive with the need to improve instead of focusing on the negative with the need to blame.
I am not above the occasional outburst and find that some letting off of steam (in a controlled balanced environment) is good. I have been know to throw the occasional pencil, bite off the head of the pompous clerk and even hand gesture a fellow driver. But today I am going to change my view of my situation. I will start with baby steps, putting on my rose colored glasses for a few more minutes a day. I will hear the news story and look for something to hang onto - some glimmer of hope. This will either make me less angry or send me to the looney bin, but I'll let you know. If it works, even just a little, we can move on to save the world.
I then turned to the local news to see that a Niagara Falls high school boy raped a classmate that day. Rape is a crime of anger not passion. Sever anger again. The day is plummeting.
Now I am thinking about it. THese two horrific events are terrible but what about the daily anger. Notice the attitude of people lately. Remember the town hall meetings to discuss health care reform? Citizens yelling and accusing and filled with hatred. Where is all this anger coming from? I understand the economy is bad, but we've been through rough financial times. I understand we are passionate about our health care but we do not need to be belligerent and evil. That is not an adult dialogue.
Even little things like the lovely hand gesture from a fellow driver when you failed to yield. Or the attitude from the sales clerk when you typed in the wrong debit card pin numbers. A couple of days ago, I even had a certain sports coach hang up on me because I couldn't make a tournament.
I thought I should research the orgin of anger. There is so much information on this topic that I could write a book (not enough time, energy or talent for that). The main point i found from this information is that anger results from how people view a situation or predicament. If that is true, it sounds simple enough to fix. Change the way people view their situation. Give us the tools to take a step back and view what is happening or has happened to us in the best light possible. Is that really so insurmountable?
Interesting that there is so much anger now when you think about the media lately. Would we be less angry if we focused on the fact that we have not had another sever terrorist attack instead of focusing on our vulnerability? Would we be less angry if we focused on the positive efforts our new president has made instead of rebuking his Nobel prize? How about focusing on the improvements in the economy instead of telling the unemployed that we are all better now? I am not saying to ignore the numerous issues we have, I am saying focus on the positive with the need to improve instead of focusing on the negative with the need to blame.
I am not above the occasional outburst and find that some letting off of steam (in a controlled balanced environment) is good. I have been know to throw the occasional pencil, bite off the head of the pompous clerk and even hand gesture a fellow driver. But today I am going to change my view of my situation. I will start with baby steps, putting on my rose colored glasses for a few more minutes a day. I will hear the news story and look for something to hang onto - some glimmer of hope. This will either make me less angry or send me to the looney bin, but I'll let you know. If it works, even just a little, we can move on to save the world.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Inspired in the back
As i may have mentioned, my husband signed us up to run the 5k Turkey Trot this year in Buffalo. I am in day 4 of my training and this morning I was tired, sore and pretty sure I am not going to make it. While downing my 4th cup of coffee and soaking in a hot bath to relieve those aching muscles (mind you it was only an 1 hour session and I am weak) I came across this article in the NY Times regarding slow marathon runners .
Although it refers to marathons I am inspired.
For all of us slow runners or walkers, this article paints the back of the race as "the place to be" with a diversity of fascinating runners. People facing physical challenges, fund raisers for the cause and the mid life crisis that needs to make a change are all pushing through the pain to get to the finish line. They have to be more interesting than the pack gazelle in the lead. I may not be the best runner (actually I definitely will not be the best runner) on Thanksgiving but you can be sure I will be with my crowd thrilled to be in the race.
My sister had this BACK OF THE RACE experience. She has struggled with her weight all through her life and this past year she really worked hard to participate in a 5k. Feeling down and less than healthy, her training was a pleasure providing physical and mental benefits. The good news is she finished the race. The great news is she finished it besides a man with one leg. He inspired her to keep moving. I could not be prouder of her.
I believe you can find inspiration in many places and conversely be derailed based on the same number of experiences. So I am choosing to be inspired! I'll run or I'll walk or hell I may even crawl. I am running that race and I am going to enjoy every step of it surrounding by people with interesting stories who most likely are like me - simply happy to be a Turkey Trotter.
Although it refers to marathons I am inspired.
For all of us slow runners or walkers, this article paints the back of the race as "the place to be" with a diversity of fascinating runners. People facing physical challenges, fund raisers for the cause and the mid life crisis that needs to make a change are all pushing through the pain to get to the finish line. They have to be more interesting than the pack gazelle in the lead. I may not be the best runner (actually I definitely will not be the best runner) on Thanksgiving but you can be sure I will be with my crowd thrilled to be in the race.
My sister had this BACK OF THE RACE experience. She has struggled with her weight all through her life and this past year she really worked hard to participate in a 5k. Feeling down and less than healthy, her training was a pleasure providing physical and mental benefits. The good news is she finished the race. The great news is she finished it besides a man with one leg. He inspired her to keep moving. I could not be prouder of her.
I believe you can find inspiration in many places and conversely be derailed based on the same number of experiences. So I am choosing to be inspired! I'll run or I'll walk or hell I may even crawl. I am running that race and I am going to enjoy every step of it surrounding by people with interesting stories who most likely are like me - simply happy to be a Turkey Trotter.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Driving while Texting
In an attempt to crack down on texting while driving Great Britain has sentenced the texting driver of a car that killed a young woman, to jail time. It goes without saying how tragic this accident is, and as a mother it just adds to all my fears for my son's safety (physical and social). But I am not sure I agree with the sentencing.
Texting is obviously dangerous when driving. So is talking on the cell phone, applying makeup, reprimanding the kids in the back seat and playing with the radio. Any thing that distracts the driver is trouble. It is so easy to divert your attention from the road; driving becomes habit and mundane. I hate to admit it but I have been know to participate in several of these distractive activities, not to mention changing from a work suit to an evening cocktail dress while driving down the expressway. Just like the driver of this car, I felt I was in control and could handle it. I was lucky and have honestly been better. I guess you just don't think of the ramifications. That's not a rationale it is simply true.
But does this driver deserve to go to jail? If I was the mother of the victim I would scream YES and for a long time. But if I were the mother of the driver I would have a completely different opinion. A car can be a weapon, just like a gun. But if a gun accidentally goes off killing someone, will that person go to jail? Should he? Maybe there a better way to eliminate phone usage while driving. Perhaps a device installed in cars which prevents cell reception. It seems the temptation is too great to grab that phone so we may need interference.
Which brings up another point - why must we always be doing at least two things at the same time? Multi-tasking is essential to our daily life. We are so overcommitted and afraid to miss out that we only scarcely pay attention to the task in front of us - like driving. A good friend of mine mentioned that our generation is not as good at mutli-tasking as our children will be. Technology has trained them to do multiple things and we are evolving into a heightened ability. Think about the examples. Of course video games and texting but watch your news broadcasts. Not only are you listening to the newscasters, but a ticker tape of information is scrolling across the bottom of the screen and a sidebar appears with additional facts. We are truly at a point of cultural ADD. Not only the media, but we do it ourselves. I can't think of one mother I know who hasn't had the kids eat in the car while doing their homework on the way to a sporting event.
Hi, my name is Bonnie and I am a mult-tasker.
Texting is obviously dangerous when driving. So is talking on the cell phone, applying makeup, reprimanding the kids in the back seat and playing with the radio. Any thing that distracts the driver is trouble. It is so easy to divert your attention from the road; driving becomes habit and mundane. I hate to admit it but I have been know to participate in several of these distractive activities, not to mention changing from a work suit to an evening cocktail dress while driving down the expressway. Just like the driver of this car, I felt I was in control and could handle it. I was lucky and have honestly been better. I guess you just don't think of the ramifications. That's not a rationale it is simply true.
But does this driver deserve to go to jail? If I was the mother of the victim I would scream YES and for a long time. But if I were the mother of the driver I would have a completely different opinion. A car can be a weapon, just like a gun. But if a gun accidentally goes off killing someone, will that person go to jail? Should he? Maybe there a better way to eliminate phone usage while driving. Perhaps a device installed in cars which prevents cell reception. It seems the temptation is too great to grab that phone so we may need interference.
Which brings up another point - why must we always be doing at least two things at the same time? Multi-tasking is essential to our daily life. We are so overcommitted and afraid to miss out that we only scarcely pay attention to the task in front of us - like driving. A good friend of mine mentioned that our generation is not as good at mutli-tasking as our children will be. Technology has trained them to do multiple things and we are evolving into a heightened ability. Think about the examples. Of course video games and texting but watch your news broadcasts. Not only are you listening to the newscasters, but a ticker tape of information is scrolling across the bottom of the screen and a sidebar appears with additional facts. We are truly at a point of cultural ADD. Not only the media, but we do it ourselves. I can't think of one mother I know who hasn't had the kids eat in the car while doing their homework on the way to a sporting event.
Hi, my name is Bonnie and I am a mult-tasker.
Fountain of Youth
Actually, I didn't really discover the fountain of youth as much as a little rain drop. As I begrudgingly say goodbye to my youth I believe I've found a way to retain some of those youthful feelings. Sounds trite but here is my solution: try new things, leave your comfort zone, take some risks. Easy enough right? Whenever I am feeling out of the marketing demographic and beyond the age limit, I do something completely different.
What I try or do depends solely on how bad I feel and how much energy it takes to change that feelings. For example, if I need a small dose of youth I try cooking a new dish. Mango enchiladas were not really a hit with the palette but they were someting different. I put on some salsa music, dices those chilis and all of a sudden I wasn't feeling so old. On a larger scale, I learned how to scuba dive last year. Six weeks of pool and classroom training was fantastic. Being underwater was a completely new sensation and the views were amazing. I felt new and more alive than I had in years. Talk about removing yourself from your comfort zone. Fifty feet underwater will do it. My latest attempt for youth came yesterday when I registered for the Turkey Trot. Well my husband registered us for the Turkey Trot. He is a recreational runner but like me has never run a 5k. So today I start my 3-4 week training session. After an hour on the treadmill I feel more decrepit than youthful, but I am hopeful.
When you think about it, middle age is a great position to be in for trying new things. You don't have to worry about what your friends think or if you'll embarrass yourself. At this age, we have already embarrassed ourselves countless times and our friends couldn't care less. It doesn't matter if you're not good at it or if you hate it. The thrill comes from trying it. The adrenaline, your hands are sweaty and your anxious. Isn't that a better feeling than tired and achy?
You may think this advise is useless, but try it. I promise you will feel better. At the very least, learning something new will take your mind off the fact that you are old :-).
What I try or do depends solely on how bad I feel and how much energy it takes to change that feelings. For example, if I need a small dose of youth I try cooking a new dish. Mango enchiladas were not really a hit with the palette but they were someting different. I put on some salsa music, dices those chilis and all of a sudden I wasn't feeling so old. On a larger scale, I learned how to scuba dive last year. Six weeks of pool and classroom training was fantastic. Being underwater was a completely new sensation and the views were amazing. I felt new and more alive than I had in years. Talk about removing yourself from your comfort zone. Fifty feet underwater will do it. My latest attempt for youth came yesterday when I registered for the Turkey Trot. Well my husband registered us for the Turkey Trot. He is a recreational runner but like me has never run a 5k. So today I start my 3-4 week training session. After an hour on the treadmill I feel more decrepit than youthful, but I am hopeful.
When you think about it, middle age is a great position to be in for trying new things. You don't have to worry about what your friends think or if you'll embarrass yourself. At this age, we have already embarrassed ourselves countless times and our friends couldn't care less. It doesn't matter if you're not good at it or if you hate it. The thrill comes from trying it. The adrenaline, your hands are sweaty and your anxious. Isn't that a better feeling than tired and achy?
You may think this advise is useless, but try it. I promise you will feel better. At the very least, learning something new will take your mind off the fact that you are old :-).
Friday, October 30, 2009
Secrecy
Yesterday I was behind a beat up Honda Civic covered in bumper stickers. It was a long light so I was able to read most of them and this one grabbed me “Secrecy is the freedom tyrants dream about”. Actually they were all pretty thought-provoking. I couldn’t help but wonder why the oldest most decrepit cars post the most logical, rebellious messages while the luxury cars are broadcasting “Palin for President”. If I didn’t know any better I would assume that perceived financial success as defined by your automobile equates to blind stupidity.
Back to the quote. Government secrecy was such a hot topic during the Bush Administration and really always a concern when it comes to any government. I question though the dichotomy of a secretive government with the exhibitionism displayed by the populous web. We the people are posting photos, twittering about our whereabouts, blogging about our thoughts. No real secrecary here. Is the difference that no one really cares when its on a personal level?
Actually I don't know the right answer. Initially I am opposed to secrecy especially when it comes to Mr. Cheney's energy meetings. On the other hand I really don't need to know what Billy Boy did with a cigar. Is Jack Nicholson right "You can't handle the truth"? With full disclosure comes a responsibility. A responsibility to review, understand and understand in context exactly what is being presented to you.
Take one small part of the health care debate, the so called Death Panels. A significant amount of Americans truly feared the the government would determine who lives and who dies. I even heard Fox News' Dream team compare this part of the bill to the Holocaust. You know they did not read the bill verbiage and certainly they did not fully understand it. The passionate attacks in town meetings and the craziness displayed makes me think we would be better off not sharing all the details with the public. Seems the lack of effort in understanding the legislation just creates a circus of diversion. Don't get me wrong, I am all for freedom of speech and peaceful demonstrations. But please people, know what you are talking about first. I guess if we had trustworthy politicians we could leave that responsibility to them and wallow in our ignorance.
I think I am pretty typical. I pay attention to what interests me and I research things I care about but do not fully understand. I am trying to speak on things that I have some knowledge of and to convey an open mind to differences and disagreements. Truthfully, i want it all available to me so I can choose what I want to delve into. I know that secrecy creates elitism and prevents checks and balances and for that reason alone I am against it. But I am also against ignorance. So if we work to abolish secrecy we must also work to abolish ignorance.
Back to the quote. Government secrecy was such a hot topic during the Bush Administration and really always a concern when it comes to any government. I question though the dichotomy of a secretive government with the exhibitionism displayed by the populous web. We the people are posting photos, twittering about our whereabouts, blogging about our thoughts. No real secrecary here. Is the difference that no one really cares when its on a personal level?
Actually I don't know the right answer. Initially I am opposed to secrecy especially when it comes to Mr. Cheney's energy meetings. On the other hand I really don't need to know what Billy Boy did with a cigar. Is Jack Nicholson right "You can't handle the truth"? With full disclosure comes a responsibility. A responsibility to review, understand and understand in context exactly what is being presented to you.
Take one small part of the health care debate, the so called Death Panels. A significant amount of Americans truly feared the the government would determine who lives and who dies. I even heard Fox News' Dream team compare this part of the bill to the Holocaust. You know they did not read the bill verbiage and certainly they did not fully understand it. The passionate attacks in town meetings and the craziness displayed makes me think we would be better off not sharing all the details with the public. Seems the lack of effort in understanding the legislation just creates a circus of diversion. Don't get me wrong, I am all for freedom of speech and peaceful demonstrations. But please people, know what you are talking about first. I guess if we had trustworthy politicians we could leave that responsibility to them and wallow in our ignorance.
I think I am pretty typical. I pay attention to what interests me and I research things I care about but do not fully understand. I am trying to speak on things that I have some knowledge of and to convey an open mind to differences and disagreements. Truthfully, i want it all available to me so I can choose what I want to delve into. I know that secrecy creates elitism and prevents checks and balances and for that reason alone I am against it. But I am also against ignorance. So if we work to abolish secrecy we must also work to abolish ignorance.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Gender Equity Discrimination
Although I am not ready to give up my feminist hat,as it has served me well during many cold conversations, I am intrigued by the article on Gender Equity Discrimination found in the National Journal. Of course I want equality between men and women for all things. "Equal pay for equal work""A woman can do anything a man can do"...etc/ But considering Stuart Taylor's comments on discrimination based on gender equality.
http://www.nationaljournal.com/njmagazine/openingargument.php
The premise is that men and woman (hold onto your hats people) may have inert, natural differences and therefore are not truly equal. Surprise surprise we are different. That's a good thing. Equal does not mean same. Why should we make sure that the same percentage of women and men are graduating in math and science? Sure I can see that it could be a symptom of a discriminatory acceptance policy. So use that as a starting point, and investigate if the admissions policies are biased but don't stop there. Seems to me that many policies hide behind statistics when really we should be using those statistics to uncover and investigate potential concerns, but we should not stop at a number and make fundamentally unmitigated assumptions. It reminds me of the school exams and "No Child Left Behind". Evaluate on the easiest criteria - test scores_ and make all policies based on that one statistic.
Men are different from women. We should embrace the differences. Generally speaking, men are traditionally better in science and math, while women are traditionally better in the human sciences. This does not mean that ONLY men should excel as biologists and ONLY women should partake in psychology forums. First and foremost we have to allow both sexes the opportunities to excel at their desires, regardless of whether those desires are traditional or unconventional. If I want to do research in BioInformatics and gain my phD, give me the opportunity and help to excel. And if my husband wants to stay home and raise our children, provide him with a support network and help him succeed. So evaluate the person on this skills and drive not on their sex. We have seen litigation and policies intended to help women overcome gender discrimination, but are we going too far now? Are we insisting that young women must go into the sciences to up our statistical averages? Are we doing a sort of affirmative action program? I am a big fan of ending discrimination in all aspects of life but don't turn us into replicas of each other.
I cannot discuss equality versus sameness without a reference to religion. Remember when the big debate revolved around Christmas trees versus Menorahs? It was determined that school were discriminating against different religions by displaying Xmas trees and decorations without accounting for Chanuka. I was thrilled to see that some schools embraced the differences and taught about other religions. Children were learning about the Muslim holidays and the Jewish holidays. Not all schools behaved in that fashion. Some dictated a no decorations policy so as not to offend anyone. What does that teach? How about the schools that insisted that same importance be placed on Christmas and Chanuka without regard to the higher and more significant Jewish holidays. Again, equal is not same. It takes much more effort to produce equal as opposed to same.
I want to be different and I want to show my uniqueness. As the Marine's say let me be all that I can be.
http://www.nationaljournal.com/njmagazine/openingargument.php
The premise is that men and woman (hold onto your hats people) may have inert, natural differences and therefore are not truly equal. Surprise surprise we are different. That's a good thing. Equal does not mean same. Why should we make sure that the same percentage of women and men are graduating in math and science? Sure I can see that it could be a symptom of a discriminatory acceptance policy. So use that as a starting point, and investigate if the admissions policies are biased but don't stop there. Seems to me that many policies hide behind statistics when really we should be using those statistics to uncover and investigate potential concerns, but we should not stop at a number and make fundamentally unmitigated assumptions. It reminds me of the school exams and "No Child Left Behind". Evaluate on the easiest criteria - test scores_ and make all policies based on that one statistic.
Men are different from women. We should embrace the differences. Generally speaking, men are traditionally better in science and math, while women are traditionally better in the human sciences. This does not mean that ONLY men should excel as biologists and ONLY women should partake in psychology forums. First and foremost we have to allow both sexes the opportunities to excel at their desires, regardless of whether those desires are traditional or unconventional. If I want to do research in BioInformatics and gain my phD, give me the opportunity and help to excel. And if my husband wants to stay home and raise our children, provide him with a support network and help him succeed. So evaluate the person on this skills and drive not on their sex. We have seen litigation and policies intended to help women overcome gender discrimination, but are we going too far now? Are we insisting that young women must go into the sciences to up our statistical averages? Are we doing a sort of affirmative action program? I am a big fan of ending discrimination in all aspects of life but don't turn us into replicas of each other.
I cannot discuss equality versus sameness without a reference to religion. Remember when the big debate revolved around Christmas trees versus Menorahs? It was determined that school were discriminating against different religions by displaying Xmas trees and decorations without accounting for Chanuka. I was thrilled to see that some schools embraced the differences and taught about other religions. Children were learning about the Muslim holidays and the Jewish holidays. Not all schools behaved in that fashion. Some dictated a no decorations policy so as not to offend anyone. What does that teach? How about the schools that insisted that same importance be placed on Christmas and Chanuka without regard to the higher and more significant Jewish holidays. Again, equal is not same. It takes much more effort to produce equal as opposed to same.
I want to be different and I want to show my uniqueness. As the Marine's say let me be all that I can be.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Freedom from Information
Since I completed my job about three weeks ago, I have been wondering where my days are spent. Seems I am always busy but have no time. How can that be? After keeping a journal of what I do for one full day, it appears that I have found the answer. I am online for about 4 -5 hours a day! What is wrong with me? Obsessive, Adult ADD, Boredom? I apparently am obsessed with information and connectivity. Am I destined to be an information junkie, craving my next Google fix?
Fret no more, Mac has a solution: a new software product called Freedom . The main function of Freedom is to render your computer unable to access networking for up to 8 hours. Obviously I am not the only one who suffers from information addiction. Online distractions have become so insipid that we mere humans can not avoid them without the aid of yet another piece of software.
Two points immediately come to mind: one is addiction and the other is responsibility. I don't dare compare online usage to addictions such as drugs, gambling and alcohol. But let's face it, any addiction is detrimental, even if it is the uncontrollable desire to know more. Sure knowing more about your friends and acquaintances is not a new phenomenon, although the technology of Facebook and Twitter facilitate a more immediate gratification. But what about the need to gain knowledge on every question or interest you have during a day. We call children with this need precocious but what about adults?
Prior to hiring any contractor, I find myself searching the internet to understand the exact job (by the way I am a resident expert on concrete in the form of aggregate or stamped). Does this search justify not leaving the house all day during a perfectly beautiful Indian Summer? Maybe. But what about that need to know all there is to know about our recent Nobel Laureates? I was insistent on understanding the prize and criteria. Another day spent online while the laundry piled up and we had cereal for dinner. You may think that's still ok because I am improving myself. I have now trained myself to believe that anything I need to know is found on the internet. At this rate, people and nature will be simply email and google images.
Now to responsibility. So instead of simply prioritizing my day and balancing my quest for knowledge with my need to accomplish personal tasks, I have to get software to eliminate the distractions. This reminds me too much of using burkas to prevent men from being distracted by female beauty or censoring books to prevent "unclean thoughts". Maybe thats a leap, but when do we hold ourselves accountable and how do we teach our youth to avoid temptations by showing them that all temptation can be removed?
It's time to balance my online life with my actual life. Time to muster up the strength to turn this thing off and go for a walk.
Fret no more, Mac has a solution: a new software product called Freedom . The main function of Freedom is to render your computer unable to access networking for up to 8 hours. Obviously I am not the only one who suffers from information addiction. Online distractions have become so insipid that we mere humans can not avoid them without the aid of yet another piece of software.
Two points immediately come to mind: one is addiction and the other is responsibility. I don't dare compare online usage to addictions such as drugs, gambling and alcohol. But let's face it, any addiction is detrimental, even if it is the uncontrollable desire to know more. Sure knowing more about your friends and acquaintances is not a new phenomenon, although the technology of Facebook and Twitter facilitate a more immediate gratification. But what about the need to gain knowledge on every question or interest you have during a day. We call children with this need precocious but what about adults?
Prior to hiring any contractor, I find myself searching the internet to understand the exact job (by the way I am a resident expert on concrete in the form of aggregate or stamped). Does this search justify not leaving the house all day during a perfectly beautiful Indian Summer? Maybe. But what about that need to know all there is to know about our recent Nobel Laureates? I was insistent on understanding the prize and criteria. Another day spent online while the laundry piled up and we had cereal for dinner. You may think that's still ok because I am improving myself. I have now trained myself to believe that anything I need to know is found on the internet. At this rate, people and nature will be simply email and google images.
Now to responsibility. So instead of simply prioritizing my day and balancing my quest for knowledge with my need to accomplish personal tasks, I have to get software to eliminate the distractions. This reminds me too much of using burkas to prevent men from being distracted by female beauty or censoring books to prevent "unclean thoughts". Maybe thats a leap, but when do we hold ourselves accountable and how do we teach our youth to avoid temptations by showing them that all temptation can be removed?
It's time to balance my online life with my actual life. Time to muster up the strength to turn this thing off and go for a walk.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Personal Assistants for College Kids?
The National News section of Sunday's Buffalo News ran an article about a college kid at Georgetown who posted an employment ad searching for a personal assistant. Apparently his course load, part time job at a financial organziation and the recent illness of a family member is making it too difficult for him to do his laundry, make a hair cut appt and update his electronic networking.
Good for him. He recognizes he needs help and now he can spend the extra time nurturing a better shot at that Ivy League Grad school acceptance or that 6 figure Wall Street job offer. All well and good for our Georgetown man. Use every advantage available to you to succeed. Not to mention offering employment to some kid less fortunate than he. He understands the value of time, and he cannot waste his on mundane tasks such as laundry or a hair appointment. He certainly cannot properly keep up his Facebook and Twitter accounts with all these distractions. Besides aren't these the jobs saved for housewives, immigrants and the poor?
College is supposedly a time to grow up, to find your own way, to challenge your mind and to push yourself to find out who you are and who you can be. Isn't it also supposed to be a level playing field where your economic background is not the advantage but your ability to think and your persistence to learn is the advantage? Can a student who is worried about paying his tuition and eating be competitive with one whose only time consumer is working on his internship or Strategic Policy paper? If only the best grades get the top grad school positions and decision making job, aren't we already using personal economic positions to discriminate? Are we leading down a path where the people who will be running our industries and governments are the people who couldn't handle everyday tasks and felt it necessary to get the less fortunate to help? We need strong, brilliant men and women to take us to the next level, not just those with the means to play the game well.
I guess I am being rather pollyanna with my view of equality and true merit in our higher education process. But I want to wear the rose colored glasses because I want my son to be one of the brilliant men who make a difference and because of that I would (not proudly) use every advantage available to him. Hypocrisy? Maybe.
Good for him. He recognizes he needs help and now he can spend the extra time nurturing a better shot at that Ivy League Grad school acceptance or that 6 figure Wall Street job offer. All well and good for our Georgetown man. Use every advantage available to you to succeed. Not to mention offering employment to some kid less fortunate than he. He understands the value of time, and he cannot waste his on mundane tasks such as laundry or a hair appointment. He certainly cannot properly keep up his Facebook and Twitter accounts with all these distractions. Besides aren't these the jobs saved for housewives, immigrants and the poor?
College is supposedly a time to grow up, to find your own way, to challenge your mind and to push yourself to find out who you are and who you can be. Isn't it also supposed to be a level playing field where your economic background is not the advantage but your ability to think and your persistence to learn is the advantage? Can a student who is worried about paying his tuition and eating be competitive with one whose only time consumer is working on his internship or Strategic Policy paper? If only the best grades get the top grad school positions and decision making job, aren't we already using personal economic positions to discriminate? Are we leading down a path where the people who will be running our industries and governments are the people who couldn't handle everyday tasks and felt it necessary to get the less fortunate to help? We need strong, brilliant men and women to take us to the next level, not just those with the means to play the game well.
I guess I am being rather pollyanna with my view of equality and true merit in our higher education process. But I want to wear the rose colored glasses because I want my son to be one of the brilliant men who make a difference and because of that I would (not proudly) use every advantage available to him. Hypocrisy? Maybe.
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