Let it Go

With groups of family and friends getting together over the holidays, it is inevitable (or at least in my family) to discuss those who aren't there or haven't sent the Christmas card or are still living the feud.  When do you let it all go an just forget about it?

Forgiveness seems so obvious. Easily understood. Stop the resentment, give it up and pardon that person.  Much easier to understand than to implement.  Maybe, maybe not.

You need a little self confidence and to take yourself a little less seriously. Confidence will help you realize that one event does not define you. You are still loved, respected, yada yada yada.  So you didn't get that Christmas card, better remove her from your list.  How could SHE forget you? And don't even remind me about that brother in law who ruined your holiday party with vulgarity, carelessness and overall ugliness.  He is done.

Granted some transgressions are worse.  Family who make such stupid decisions that they destroy people's lives.  Not that easily forgiven.  Maybe the relative who borrows a large sum of money from you and never pays it back.  Or the family friend who never came to see your dying parent.  Or the one who wasn't there when you needed him the most.

But its hard to hold that grudge.  You miss out on the good times with that person, who if it was a friend at one time, probably had several good qualities.  Or you feel yourself being ugly and that just ruins the day for you.  Frankly its tiring.

And don't forget you may have also needed forgiveness at one or two times in your life.  I myself, even went so far as to go to an old family friend's wake with a tad bit too much alcohol in me.  Bad judgement?  Definitely!  But certainly not enough to have an entire family ostracize me? Besides isn't it enough punishment that a certain sibling brings it up every single time we get together?

I think its time to let it go.  FOrget about the transgressions.  Chalk it up to the fact that people  screw up.  Maybe getting rid of all that baggage will also help drop a few pounds.  Ok that's wishful thinking.  Nonetheless I am going to work on this one for 2010.