Some Advice for our Politicians

I watched "Real time w/Bill Maher" yesterday and heard a great comment.  Susan Eisenhower, of the The Eisenhower Group, describing the recent attitude of the Republican party stated

"Anger is not a public policy prescription."

Irate "Un"authorized Participant

The mortgage on our current primary residence is under my husband's name.  It was a decision we made for numerous reasons which are no one's business but ours.  Well for the past 8 years I have been struggling with the "Authorized" participant (sometimes called contact) on the account.  I am responsible for all the household finances but HSBC refuses to give me any information on our bloody mortgage.

My husband has on NUMEROUS occasions, called to put me on this authorized list and wrote at least 3 letters that he faxed to do the exact same thing.  Today I called, because THEY screwed up our tax forms and was informed that Mr. Cywinski would have to authorize me.  I lost it.

I know it was not this lowly CSR's fault, but why is it that I am following all the stupid rules, dealing with their mistakes, and unable to get my INFORMATION.

First of all, when you are married you have a contract.  In my marriage we share our complete lives including finances.  I understand that some marriages are riddled with lies and deception and lead to divorce.  That is the reason the bank has given for not releasing any info on this account to my husband's wife.  Why are we establishing rules for the exceptions?  How about we assume the marriage is stable and once you find you have a deceptive husband or wife, you call the bank to take them off the authorized list? 

To make matters worse, I also received a letter from these "Security is Job One" proponents informing me that someone changed information on the account.  My  husband did not.  And you already know that i have no access.  So who the hell changed this information?  Obviously the fraudulent party has more authority than the wife.

Can I also complain about the CSR?  She said why don't I just call my husband to call the bank and give me authorization.  I believe her exact words were " It's easy".  Listen girlie... first of all its not that easy as he has a full time job which requires him to work 16 hours a day to pay this absurd mortgage.  He doesn't have time according to your business hours to deal once again with this "security" benefit.  Secondly, I was on hold for 20 minutes waiting to hear that you could not help me.  Who will be paying him for his time dealing with your mistake?  

She was thrilled to be on the line with me at this point.  I spent several minutes berating her intellectual level, her understanding of security, and even the purpose of marriage.  All rattled off at high speed and of course recorded.  None of which did anything for me and now I have a headache.

I am so happy that our financial institutions are getting bail out money because they are obviously doing a real bang up job.

Why are we so angry

Yesterday my day started off so well. I had a vigorous workout gaining inspiration and encouragement from my favorite gym-buddy. Later I ate lunch with two men who provided me with stimulating conversation, not too mention many laughs. I wrote for awhile, I went grocery shopping and I downloaded some new music. Talk about being happy. Then I turned on the TV to see the headline "At least 12 killed in shooting at Fort Hood Army Base in Texas". My heart sank. Although all the details were not known at that time, two army personnel are presumably responsible. What made them so angry that they had to shoot innocent people?

I then turned to the local news to see that a Niagara Falls high school boy raped a classmate that day. Rape is a crime of anger not passion. Sever anger again. The day is plummeting.

Now I am thinking about it. THese two horrific events are terrible but what about the daily anger. Notice the attitude of people lately. Remember the town hall meetings to discuss health care reform? Citizens yelling and accusing and filled with hatred. Where is all this anger coming from? I understand the economy is bad, but we've been through rough financial times. I understand we are passionate about our health care but we do not need to be belligerent and evil. That is not an adult dialogue.

Even little things like the lovely hand gesture from a fellow driver when you failed to yield. Or the attitude from the sales clerk when you typed in the wrong debit card pin numbers. A couple of days ago, I even had a certain sports coach hang up on me because I couldn't make a tournament.

I thought I should research the orgin of anger. There is so much information on this topic that I could write a book (not enough time, energy or talent for that). The main point i found from this information is that anger results from how people view a situation or predicament. If that is true, it sounds simple enough to fix. Change the way people view their situation. Give us the tools to take a step back and view what is happening or has happened to us in the best light possible. Is that really so insurmountable?

Interesting that there is so much anger now when you think about the media lately. Would we be less angry if we focused on the fact that we have not had another sever terrorist attack instead of focusing on our vulnerability? Would we be less angry if we focused on the positive efforts our new president has made instead of rebuking his Nobel prize? How about focusing on the improvements in the economy instead of telling the unemployed that we are all better now? I am not saying to ignore the numerous issues we have, I am saying focus on the positive with the need to improve instead of focusing on the negative with the need to blame.

I am not above the occasional outburst and find that some letting off of steam (in a controlled balanced environment) is good. I have been know to throw the occasional pencil, bite off the head of the pompous clerk and even hand gesture a fellow driver. But today I am going to change my view of my situation. I will start with baby steps, putting on my rose colored glasses for a few more minutes a day. I will hear the news story and look for something to hang onto - some glimmer of hope. This will either make me less angry or send me to the looney bin, but I'll let you know. If it works, even just a little, we can move on to save the world.