Connection Unreliable

I am on vacation and have limited internet capabilities.  Didn't even think that the resort would not have wireless excess - so my laptop sits idle.  The four available computers bill on an hourly basis and seem to be busy whenever I am free.

Service is slow.  But I guess I can cope seeing as the weather here is amazing :-)

So I will not be writing until Monday.  But am jotting down some great vacation stories and photos to add.

Three Cheers for Local Theatre

My husband and I love live entertainment.  Trips to NYC and Chicago are always highlighted with some off Broadway type plays or obscure productions.  I was thrilled to find out that Buffalo, although not as amazing as NYC, can pretty much stand tall in the local theatre space.

We bought tickets to see Evil Dead at the Alt Theatre.  First of all it is a hysterical production ( albeit a bit vulgar).  The stage and effects were terrific, the music right up there and the acting worked.  We would never have chosen this play out of town, but were fortunate to see it here in Buffalo and tickets were only $25!

The theatre was small but full of effort.  They even had chips and salsa available for hungry guests, with beer and wine for a nominal fee.  And of course the ever loving production t-shirt.  This company really works for the audience.

I highly recommend the stroll into local theatre.  The productions are entertaining and what better way to enjoy yourself cheaply on a Friday night, while supporting the arts community of Buffalo.

The Art of Packing

It's time to come clean and admit my failure to myself and others.  I am horrible at packing.

Over the years I have packed hundreds of suitcases. Note that i have packed entire households numerous times as well and am just as bad so let's just focus on suitcases.  Everything from the overnight bags for me, my husband and son to the 3 month stay for temporary work duty.  I think I have tried every gadget known to improve my skill set here.  We did the air vacuum for Paris, I bought the wrinkle free suitcase system for work, and the strategic carry on carry all for Hawaii.  I have even resorted to searching eHow.com for help.  Incidentally that article doesn't tell you how to determine what you will want to wear when you are there.

Its not like I don't have experience.  For over 6 years, I had an overnight bag packed at all times.  I had doubles of everything I used at home and would need on business trips.  All I had to do was add the suit.  I even bought duplicate pairs of shoes I liked. I was pretty efficient eventually, but I still cannot pack for vacation.

My most significant problem is space.  I like to wear a different pair of shoes and bag with each outfit.  I also like to have my favorites around - you know that white t-shirt and those hugging jeans.  I recently packed three bags for a 7 day trip.

My husband has a great tip.  He packs clothes that he intends to leave at the resort.  So he takes his sneakers just before he needs to buy new ones, he takes his worn khakis that should have been thrown out months ago and he takes his least favorite shoes.  He always comes back lighter.  I usually return with a bunch of clothes not worn but really wrinkled.

So for this next trip, my solution is easy.  I am only wearing swimsuits and coverups during the day.  My evenings will rotate between two sundresses and one pair of heels.  I am leaving vanity at home and will relax without pulling a muscle lifting an over 50 pound suitcase.

Flash Mobs

The Time recently ran an article on Flash Mobs and the violence they evoke.  The concept of spontaneous gatherings is not new and thanks to our technological advancements it is much easier and quicker to facilitate.  But like all advancements, ways are found to use the good for bad.

On one hand, if you have ever tried to throw a party or organize an event, you know how daunting and time consuming it can be.  I am so amazed that our social networking skills allow thousands of people to join for a cause at the spur of the moment.

However the mobs are a problem.  In Philadelphia, teenagers are gathering to reek havoc on the city and for apparently no other reason.  I think the authorities are doing the right thing, by immediately instituting curfews and changes time validity of subway passes and even holding parents somewhat responsible.

Many think that the lack of funding for violence prevention among teens and the severe cuts in after school programs are adding to the intensity.  Kids don't have enough supervised activities so they are causing trouble.  Its not a new concept, just one more severe because of the ease in growing a group.

Just another result of city budget cuts having severe outcomes.

Passing THE Bill

Waited long enough, now I have to say a few words on the Health Care Reform Bill, promise to be brief.  No surprise, I was very happy to see it passed.

I have always been a proponent of universal health care.  My first professional project out of college was in GM health benefits and at that time we were discussing rising costs, standardization of administration and complete coverage.  As unpopular as it was, I even supported Hillary Clinton in her early efforts towards reform.

I did not read the entire bill and frankly some of what I have read is confusing.  I am constantly looking for some scaled down, synopsis of the bill. But all such briefs have been slanted or too incomplete or even off point.  So I like these two points the most:

- everyone will be covered.  A friend insists that this was already true.  Well now everyone knows they will be covered and we have a starting process to account for the funds.

- you won't be dropped if  you use your coverage.  I always hated this about car insurance.  I was a member of Travelers for over 20 years  with very minimum use.  Had two under $2k claims in one year and they dropped me.

What I hate about the bill?  The cost.  But I am a believer that it will lower health care costs in the future.

What I hate most though about this bill, is the horrible way we have seen our elected officials and the general public behave.  I am sickened by property destruction and personal threats towards our politicians.  I am dismayed by slanderous remarks, lies and fear promotion.  It is disgusting to see adults act like toddlers who cannot get their way or to hear about the unbelievable anger over this.  I can't help thinking that our very governmental foundation is cracked.

This bill is a start, it is not all encompassing and I don't believe the situation will ever be 100%.  But it has started some of the greatest debates I have been aware of and people are interested.  I thought Hillary started the topic years ago, but that concern died with her proposal.  Let's hope the debate (orderly and professional) continues and that we are all better off for it.

I'm Back ... Was Busy

To all my loyal friends and followers, my apologies for not writing.  It has been almost a week and I have been remiss.  Could provide a ton of excuses like sinus infection, home repair issues, family controversy or maybe just the simple lack of interest.  Anyway, I am back and intend to return to a  somewhat daily writing schedule.

I could have simply said "I was busy" as my excuse for not writing.  And believe me I have used this term more often than not.  But recently I was rubbed the wrong way when I heard the phrase.  It's very true that we are all pretty busy with our daily lives and sometimes we just cannot get to the appointment, task or call we said we were going to address.

The problem is this statement almost implies that your time is more valuable than anyone else's time.  If you are too busy to return an email message or a call isn't that really just saying there are so many more important things to do and that the return call or message is just not a priority?

My friends are terrific and deal with me when I am slow to respond or when I prioritize over them.  I think I am just as understanding.... in the friendship relationship.  That's why they are friends.  In business of course prioritizing is always a key task and professionals are constantly walking the line between significant urgent and nice to have.  It's a skill to really manage time in your personal life as well as your professional life.

So I am working on eliminating the phrase "I'm too busy" and those like it.  Instead maybe I should use an honest yet somewhat off-putting phrase like:

- I can't bear to discuss this with you so I am not returning your call
- You are so boring that I will always have higher priorities
- I don't like doing this so I will procrastinate until the very end
- Guess I forgot because this is so unimportant to me

Ok, these are mean.  I'll find something in between.

Stimulating the Adrenal Gland

As I mentioned before, I have been taking a spinning class.  Now that I am  into it, I actually like it and am rearranging my schedule to ensure I can make the class.  Yesterday was a really busy day with little time but I squeezed in the morning class anyway.  Afterwards I rushed to the locker room, took a quick shower, dressed for my nfp meeting and ran out.

The meeting went well, however I noticed I was (yuck) sweating.  Oh not a little but rather profusely.  Took of my jacket and did not like the little puddles.  Had back to back appts so now what?  Called my sister who, explained the situation and borrowed a new blouse.

Long, disgusting story short, I must have changed 4 times and continued to look like I was caught in a rain storm, all day.  So I am thinking, what the hell is going on. Is this menopausal hot flashes?  Do I need a doctor?  Am I melting?

Well the good doctor/husband took my frantic call and when he was finished laughing, he informed me that I may have stimulating my adrenal gland.  Sounds a lot better than it feels.  Must have really did some hard work in that spinning class.  Didn't even know I had these things, quite interesting though the adrenal gland.

Cannot possibly continue stimulating this gland unknowingly, unless I carry a change of clothing and case of Ladies Speed Stick around with me.  Or I could take a pill which includes the side effect of lowing your heart rate.. great put the pace maker into overdrive.  Neither option good.

This could have been a one time thing or a fluke.  Anyone experience something similar?

St. Paddy Day Leprechaun

I don't really celebrate St. Patrick's Day.  Maybe a long time ago when it meant an excuse to have another happy hour, or maybe when my sister's part-Irish hubby made us a great corned beef and cabbage dinner but it has been a while.  I didn't even have a place to bring green bagels to this year.

Never really thought about the celebration or missing it.  Actually forgot about it until, on our way to school,  I saw all the obnoxious green pants and pedestrians in silly hats.  My son and I laughed as we realized what day it was and how we had completely forgotten about it.  It did however start a conversation between us regarding ethnicity and racial profiling.  What a difference from the green cupcakes and pot-of-gold conversations we had driving to kindergarden.

My sister had a much different day.  Her girls are 3 and 4 and are thrilled by the thought of the St. Patrick's Day leprechaun.  In preschool they have been talking about the ruckus he makes, his love of green and they even made boxes to try to catch this mystical creature.  To excite the girls more, my sister went about the house Tuesday evening, after they went to bed, simulating the results of a leprechaun encounter, which I found out meant messing up your house.  She piled up toys precariously in the bedrooms, lined up all the stuffed animals in a parade, made shamrock inspired cupcakes with gold coins,  and her highlight...dyed the toilet water green.

When the girls woke up they were elated!  To quote her youngest, while using the "facilities" and seeing the green water, "Mommie does this mean my bottom will turn green?"  The older doll wanted to know if the leprechaun would be returning after school.  Oh a mother's work is never done.

Although I loved the stimulating conversation (inspired by the day) I had with my son, my nieces made me nostalgic for a kid's fantastical celebration.

A Day WIthout Shoes

April 8th is "One Day without Shoes", an event sponsored by TOMS Shoes to bring awareness to the impact a pair of shoes can have on one child's life.  This is the first I have heard of it, but apparently it is the third annual.

Let's all do this!  Of course it would be easy if we were on a beach vacation that day or decided to spend the day at home.  But what happens if we have to go out?  You cannot enter a grocery store with out shoes and I am pretty sure your boss would concerned if you entered the status meeting sans footwear.  I guess it is ok to just go some of the day without shoes, so we can at least do that.

Now we don't want to embarrass ourselves so that means scheduling a trip to the pedicurist.  We should get those shops involved.  Saw for every pedicure, they donate $10 to the cause.  Or maybe if we really can't go barefoot, we could forego the pedicure and send the cash right to this organization.

Podoconiosis is a disfiguring disease that is caused by walking barefoot in volcanic soil.  I hate it when there is a pebble in my sandal.  We are (or at least I am) pretty well pampered that it is easy to forget how difficult some lives can be.  This is seems like a little effort that could go along way.

Guest Blogging

I am thinking about opening up my blog for guest bloggers.  The idea came up while speaking with my brother this morning.

He has this terrific insight into toll booth operators that I find hysterical but could not possibly write about.  Although what if he is a better blogging than I am, and all of a sudden he takes over Observations & Ruminations?  I would have to find a new url.

Also, we had wonderful out of town guests this weekend.  He is an accomplished blogger with an incredible following and (from what I have read) really interesting.  Maybe I could convince him to guest star as well.

I could ask some of my friends who always have interesting commentary, and maybe have a Guest Blog week.  Plus I am really swamped with things so it may be good to take a break.

Just thinking about it.  Let me know if you are interested in a guest appearance!

Signs of Spring at 551

Spring is in the air at my house.  Here are a couple of signs letting us know spring is here.

1 - Sunny on the way to school
2 - Boat storage invoice arrives
3 - Birds chirping during breakfast
4 - Spare bedroom cluttered with summer and winter clothes awaiting the closet switch
5 - New sunglasses purchase
6 - First stumble over driveway potholes
7 - Evening walks on Elmwood
8 - Tons of tissue for spring colds
9 - Window sill of attempted seed growth
10 - Skateboard bruises

Happy Spring!

Lower school students defending Pluto

Check out this site.  http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/pluto/mail-flash.html

Several 3rd graders have been upset with the declassification of Pluto as a planet.  It has been going on since 2000 but the 2008 apology is the best.

This is a good sign.  Our youth is unhappy so they are doing something about it.  Let them learn young that they have a voice and should use it.  I love it!

What Goes Around Comes Around

Sometimes there are things you do that you are not so very proud of.  It may seem fine at the moment but time seems to darken those reflections and maybe experience shows how naive you were.

It hit me in the face recently. You see I was evaluated strictly on what I look like.  So what it happens all the time right?  Well its not so great when that evaluation does not work in your favor.

When I was starting out as an EDS systems analyst, I worked for General  Motors.  I was young, ambitious and nothing would get in my way to success.  Constantly working, I knew my job and was really good at it.  I also knew what it took to get  noticed.  Young girl, man's world.  So every time I had a meeting with the GM executives, I put together a certain look (maybe a shorter skirt, higher heels, tighter sweater).  Pitiful right?  But it did get me noticed so they had to listen to me.  At the time, I thought I was using all tools available.

Age seems to have taken away some of those tools and now I am disgusted that I was "that girl".  You should be evaluated on the criteria necessary to get a job done, not on the aesthetics you provide.  You would think that experience and insight could top beauty and youth.  It cannot.

So karma hits.  My apologies to the women who were brighter than I was and more deserving of some of the positions I held.  Relish in my recent dose of reality.

Jihad Jane

Great, now that we 40 something year old women are virtually ignored in the job market, there is a new career calling:  terrorist.  Can you see the want ad:  Middle aged women wanted to entice militant community using the internet.  Must be willing to travel undetected (preferably wearing soccer mom jeans), sympathize with terrorists (carry juice boxes in purse), and die for the cause.  Experience with cartoonist tracking, overseas fund raising, and Islam preferred.  Blondes considered first.


This sick, demented woman, Colleen LaRose, has single handedly revived interest in our segment.  It stings when you realize you are not part of the marketing demographic. But I don't think I want this kind of attention. This could change our travel plans... will I now be profiled at the airport?  Middle aged blondes -  mandatory strip search, potential no fly list.  Will people look at me with that fearful and accusing glance,  refusing to board plane because I may be one of "them"

Or maybe our stock will go up.  You know terrorists groups fighting with top companies for  the much desired middle aged woman.  All of a sudden CEO's realize the organizational skills and rain making abilities of the not quite beautiful and youthful applicants.  How about telling the GE executive interviewing you that you would like that c-level position but you are in negotiations with Al Queda, can he match the benefits package?  Maybe your husband gains a new respect for your options.

There is no profile for terrorists that works.  They come in every size and color and age and gender. They are part of our lives and we have to learn how to combat and win.  Scary stuff.

 

Gotta be in it to win it

I like that trite little lottery tag line Gotta Be In It to Win It .  It couples nicely with another useful point that showing up is half the challenge.

We recently experienced this as my son was invited to try out for a select travel lacrosse team.  He was dragging his feet because he felt he would never make it and when we saw the 150 kids at the try out, we kind of thought he was right.  But so what, if you don't try you cannot possible win.  And frankly the kid could use a little humility :-).  We found out he made the team and he is thrilled.  Nice lesson taught!

Same is true for me, but the outcome is different.  It seems it is harder as you get older to put yourself out there for scrutiny.  My son was afraid that he wouldn't make the team so he didn't want the perceived embarrassment or the confrontation of a weak skill set.  As a parent, it was easy for me to say so what as long as you try.  But for myself, I have a harder time.

I recently submitted a flash fiction piece for a contest.  I lost. Additionally, I submitted my resume for a potential job ( i know i know again I am feeling inconsequential).  Doesn't look like I will get the position.  Shouldn't the rejection get easier?  It doesn't and it takes more and more effort to keep trying.  I guess the earlier you develop coping skills the better off you will be.

So my coping skills with my recent failures will be called upon today.  Will go to spinning class because I know I can get through that.  Will probably try a new recipe because I know I can do that.  Will write an article to prove to myself I have some value.  Will work on that marketing document for my not-for-profit because it is important.

Will probably also eat a bag of oreos and mope.

Cost of Holding Center Suicide Patrol

I read a recent article on suicide attempts at the Erie County Holding Center and although this may sound callous, I need to speak out.

First, what do you expect?  Outside of the wrongly-accused bystander, these people are at the holding center for a reason.  They have committed a crime, probably because of poor judgement, mental issues or anger.  They are not your run of mill average Joe.

The holding center is overcrowded by almost 75%, there are huge budget issues prevented the successful operations of the center and even on the best of days, its a crummy job.  I understand that the inmate suicide scares have dictated a removal of more than just ties and belts.  Sheets have been eliminated.  One recent guy hung himself with his underwear.

One comment was to have one to one ratio of guard to inmate.  Can you imagine the cost?  We have no money for schools, no money for health care, no money for the homeless yet we can spend money on criminal suicide watch?  No way.

It these people are so miserable, let them do what they need to do.  It would be a better use of our funds to improve our mental health services (another program experiencing budget cuts) and would probably result in protecting future victims.  If money were not an issue, then fine try to save, try to rehabilitate, try to understand.  But it is an issue whether we like it or not and I would prefer to see us trying to make people's lives better so they do not need to perform actions that get them into the holding center.

My heart goes out to the families of all inmates, suicidal or not.  But I believe they wouldn't be in that position if they had the public services necessary to  save there loved ones before they resorted to crime.

Return of Aqua Team

Aqua team is how I refer to my husband, son and myself when we are Scuba diving.  We all have nicknames as well.  Husband is Manatee, son is Sting Ray and I am Starfish.  I know its silly but we have a great time.

Last night we took a refresher coarse to prepare for our dives in Montego Bay later in the month.  Its a good thing we did the refresher, because we had a few... shall I say issues.

It started with squeezing into the wetsuit.  Yeah, just not looking like Halle Barry in a James Bond flick.  Luckily my hubby isn't really 007.  Next I start putting my equipment together as the instructor stops by.  He notes that I forgot to add the buoyancy control vest to the regulator and tank.  Pretty basic unless you plan on holding the tank throughout the dive.  I also forgot how heavy the equipment is and nearly fell over on my way to the edge of the pool. This is all before entering the water.

I should add Manatee and Sting Ray were awesome.  Not only do they look like pros they remembered everything.  Me not so much.  I apparently did not check my partner's tank connection very well, which I realized as the tank nearly fell out of the jacket while we were under.  Opps.  Also blew up my vest so much that it fell into the excess pocket, which sounds like a hole.  Vest bursting at seams is not great for my self esteem.

After two hours in the water, I finally fell back into it.  Of course, we were all out cold and exhausted at 8 pm last night, but that is the life of an extreme sports family like the Aqua Team.

Photos pending.

Locker Room Etiquette

I am concerned about locker room etiquette

If you know me, you know I am certainly not a prude.   On the contrary I am probably more liberal than most.  But I have recently been questioning my openness regarding dressing room nudity.  

I am perfectly comfortable taking off my clothes in a locker room filled with women.  Probably not as comfortable as I was when I had a hot body, but then again what are you going do.  I remove my gym clothes, wrap myself in a towel and go about my business.   Apparently I am one of the few who sees the necessity of a towel.

How can I have a conversation with a naked women?  I spend more time thinking about why she is not clothed or how to make sure I don't look anywhere I shouldn't, that I have no idea what she is talking about.  And conversing is the least difficult to deal with.  What about those who are showing you ipod photos, or eating a piece of fruit, or lounging while reading the paper?

These women are wonderful, intelligent people.  So why am I hung up about the nakedness?  Maybe if we all walked around nude we would think twice about eating that cannoli or maybe we should just be so comfortable in our selves that the skin is not unsettling to see.

The real sad part is that these "nudies" would not be caught dead in some of my low cut, short lengthened ensembles out side of the locker room.  

I think maybe I will institute Saturday Naked Day.  Once a month I will make sure my son is out of the house for the day and mandate that my husband and I walk around nude to get me over this hang up.  Although the UPS guy and the cleaning lady may get a  scare, blinding them for life.  Hmm... I'll have to thing of some other options.

Tickle the Roots

As a not-yet-visited member of the Buffalo and Erie County Botanical Gardens, I decided I should check it out.  So I registered for a class on planting indoor seeds and dragged my mom along.  This was one of the more informative and pleasurable classes I have taken.  I am inspired so look forward to lovely flower photos and veggie discussion in future posts.

First, if you have never been to the local botanical gardens, definitely put it on your list of things to do. The green houses and plants are absolutely beautiful and the staff is unbelievably friendly, enthusiastic and knowledgeable.

Joe, our master gardener and teacher, distributed handouts on how to plant indoors, tips for success and even resources for seeds.  The planting was hands on and we all left with at least 4 starter plants.  He even held a raffle for some carpenter lights, soil kits, and hyacinths.  He did this in two hours, which he filled with laughter.  You could tell this man loved to garden.

Some of the tips included adding hydrogen peroxide to your watering, sweeping new growth with feathers and watering from the bottom. The best term though had to be "tickle the roots".  It really just means to separate the roots when you purchase new growths, but I love the term and will be using it in other ways :-).

Check out my handiwork:

Mom and I will be visiting the nursery to get soiless   soil, carpenter lights, shelving, seeds, new gloves, and so on and so and so on.

If you plan on taking such a class, remember two ancillary items:  1 - ask your mom to come and if you are lucky she will make you an incredible dinner before you go (thanks mom!) and 2 - be careful with your soil when you bring it home or you will leave some on the counter, floor, car seat and sink.

Cannot wait to start tickling the roots (I cannot stop using the term).

Irate "Un"authorized Participant

The mortgage on our current primary residence is under my husband's name.  It was a decision we made for numerous reasons which are no one's business but ours.  Well for the past 8 years I have been struggling with the "Authorized" participant (sometimes called contact) on the account.  I am responsible for all the household finances but HSBC refuses to give me any information on our bloody mortgage.

My husband has on NUMEROUS occasions, called to put me on this authorized list and wrote at least 3 letters that he faxed to do the exact same thing.  Today I called, because THEY screwed up our tax forms and was informed that Mr. Cywinski would have to authorize me.  I lost it.

I know it was not this lowly CSR's fault, but why is it that I am following all the stupid rules, dealing with their mistakes, and unable to get my INFORMATION.

First of all, when you are married you have a contract.  In my marriage we share our complete lives including finances.  I understand that some marriages are riddled with lies and deception and lead to divorce.  That is the reason the bank has given for not releasing any info on this account to my husband's wife.  Why are we establishing rules for the exceptions?  How about we assume the marriage is stable and once you find you have a deceptive husband or wife, you call the bank to take them off the authorized list? 

To make matters worse, I also received a letter from these "Security is Job One" proponents informing me that someone changed information on the account.  My  husband did not.  And you already know that i have no access.  So who the hell changed this information?  Obviously the fraudulent party has more authority than the wife.

Can I also complain about the CSR?  She said why don't I just call my husband to call the bank and give me authorization.  I believe her exact words were " It's easy".  Listen girlie... first of all its not that easy as he has a full time job which requires him to work 16 hours a day to pay this absurd mortgage.  He doesn't have time according to your business hours to deal once again with this "security" benefit.  Secondly, I was on hold for 20 minutes waiting to hear that you could not help me.  Who will be paying him for his time dealing with your mistake?  

She was thrilled to be on the line with me at this point.  I spent several minutes berating her intellectual level, her understanding of security, and even the purpose of marriage.  All rattled off at high speed and of course recorded.  None of which did anything for me and now I have a headache.

I am so happy that our financial institutions are getting bail out money because they are obviously doing a real bang up job.

Beware of the Killer Cappuccino

I turn on public radio to hear a teaser about how Buffalo coffee shops may be experiencing trouble this month.  So I patiently wait to hear this story, thinking there is a coffee bean hike or some new Buffalo tax.  No.  Just our mayor declaring it caffeine awareness month.

The city of Buffalo is experiencing some of the worst statistics in the country.  Unemployment is high, poverty is everywhere, murder rates are up.  Why the hell is our mayor spending even 1 minute on the adverse effects of caffeine?

Our kids are fat.  Why don't we make it "Don't eat fast food month"? Or how about "Leave your guns at home" month.  From what I hear drugs are still are problem, maybe we can spend a little time on that one.  Last week I saw about  kids smoking, could we focus on that?  Let's attack the cappuccino or that vanilla latte.  You never know when Buffalonians might get a burst of energy and do something productive. Yikes.

I love coffee and everything about it.  The smell, the flavor, the temperature. There are about 6 coffee shops with in walking distance of my front door.  These vendors do not need Joe Citizen coming in asking caffeine related death questions.

Look at the positive.  Maybe coffee is inspirational to our youth.  I cannot seem to get a specialty coffee for under $4.  With that price, our youth could potential stay in college and aspire to success  just to afford the java.