Table Etiquette Hint

My husband and I had a formal dinner party to attend the other night.  As we are sitting at the table when I see him make the "ok" sign with both hands.  I asked what he was doing and he told me it was a helpful hint to remind him which side his bread dish is on and which side his water glass is on.  You see the left hand makes a "b" so bread dish is on left and the right hand makes a "d" so his water drink is on the right.

After about 5 minutes of mocking him for needing a childish table manners hint at our age, I forget about it. 

A few days later I am attending a fund raiser breakfast with a good friend.  I remember my husband's "trick" and begin to tell her about it.  I start with "You will not believe what he did the other day... ".  Keep in mind I am kind of making fun of him (albeit with love).  Well my friend spins to me with a shocked look on her face.  I think something happened.  She proceeds to tell me that it was SHE who gave him that helpful hint and that she always uses it.  As my face is turning red she adds a roll to her the bread plate on right.  I correct her and we both break out laughing.  She humorously reminds me that the trick does not work if you are dyslexic.

So here is your helpful dinner party hint (try to do it without anyone noticing).

Did I Overreact?

Although I try to keep it in check, I tend to overact on a fairly regular basis.  Usually it is harmless because it's just my husband and son who heard the rants but sometimes there are casualties

We recently attended an event and were seated with a new couple.  Always adhering to social etiquettes, I engage my table mate in light conversation.  I'm not going to even go into his first pompous, pretentious remarks however they should have been a signal for me to move on.  I proceeded to ask about a trip he recently returned from which lead to the almighty what-do-you-do-for-a-living question.  "Oh its complicated" he condescends.  Try me a$$hole.  First overreaction.

Fifteen seconds later I know his job.  Amazing the non-working mom got it on the first try.  Call the press.

"Dude, you're an angel in a bio-tech firm.  It's not that complicated. Get over yourself."  Overreacting? Was the use of "dude" too ironic for him? For the next 15 minutes he heard a bout my career, my masters programs and my opinions on biological robotics.  I then smiled and ignored him for the rest of the evening.

I really got the feeling that he felt I was a dumb blonde who couldn't possibly comprehend his intellect.  Granted my dress was a little trendy, my heels were as always high and I may have been sporting the bed-head but somebody needs to let this guy know that judging a book by its cover (especially when the cover is a 40 something year old - dare I say nice looking women) is so passe.

Locker Room Etiquette

I am concerned about locker room etiquette

If you know me, you know I am certainly not a prude.   On the contrary I am probably more liberal than most.  But I have recently been questioning my openness regarding dressing room nudity.  

I am perfectly comfortable taking off my clothes in a locker room filled with women.  Probably not as comfortable as I was when I had a hot body, but then again what are you going do.  I remove my gym clothes, wrap myself in a towel and go about my business.   Apparently I am one of the few who sees the necessity of a towel.

How can I have a conversation with a naked women?  I spend more time thinking about why she is not clothed or how to make sure I don't look anywhere I shouldn't, that I have no idea what she is talking about.  And conversing is the least difficult to deal with.  What about those who are showing you ipod photos, or eating a piece of fruit, or lounging while reading the paper?

These women are wonderful, intelligent people.  So why am I hung up about the nakedness?  Maybe if we all walked around nude we would think twice about eating that cannoli or maybe we should just be so comfortable in our selves that the skin is not unsettling to see.

The real sad part is that these "nudies" would not be caught dead in some of my low cut, short lengthened ensembles out side of the locker room.  

I think maybe I will institute Saturday Naked Day.  Once a month I will make sure my son is out of the house for the day and mandate that my husband and I walk around nude to get me over this hang up.  Although the UPS guy and the cleaning lady may get a  scare, blinding them for life.  Hmm... I'll have to thing of some other options.