Thursday, March 11, 2010

Jihad Jane

Great, now that we 40 something year old women are virtually ignored in the job market, there is a new career calling:  terrorist.  Can you see the want ad:  Middle aged women wanted to entice militant community using the internet.  Must be willing to travel undetected (preferably wearing soccer mom jeans), sympathize with terrorists (carry juice boxes in purse), and die for the cause.  Experience with cartoonist tracking, overseas fund raising, and Islam preferred.  Blondes considered first.


This sick, demented woman, Colleen LaRose, has single handedly revived interest in our segment.  It stings when you realize you are not part of the marketing demographic. But I don't think I want this kind of attention. This could change our travel plans... will I now be profiled at the airport?  Middle aged blondes -  mandatory strip search, potential no fly list.  Will people look at me with that fearful and accusing glance,  refusing to board plane because I may be one of "them"

Or maybe our stock will go up.  You know terrorists groups fighting with top companies for  the much desired middle aged woman.  All of a sudden CEO's realize the organizational skills and rain making abilities of the not quite beautiful and youthful applicants.  How about telling the GE executive interviewing you that you would like that c-level position but you are in negotiations with Al Queda, can he match the benefits package?  Maybe your husband gains a new respect for your options.

There is no profile for terrorists that works.  They come in every size and color and age and gender. They are part of our lives and we have to learn how to combat and win.  Scary stuff.

 



4 comments:

  1. Jihad Jane.....at least the name is catchy. Sounds better then Alla Ali Shabeb. Less threatening. Perfect disguise. As an FTA agent at the airport who would check the soccer ball for explosives? Speaking of the FTA agents, this could be a good thing. If I was an FTA agent I would much rather strip search a 40 year old blond then a 40 year old Middle Eastern man. However, who knows, they may be equally as hairy.

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  2. Have a new career option for you. You could break the whole middled aged terrorist women ring wide open! Maybe go on to be Obama's Homeland Security guru.

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  3. You two, .......you're cracking yourselves up, aren't you?

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  4. P.S. She just looks like a biatch, you don't, you look like a babe.

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