Irate "Un"authorized Participant

The mortgage on our current primary residence is under my husband's name.  It was a decision we made for numerous reasons which are no one's business but ours.  Well for the past 8 years I have been struggling with the "Authorized" participant (sometimes called contact) on the account.  I am responsible for all the household finances but HSBC refuses to give me any information on our bloody mortgage.

My husband has on NUMEROUS occasions, called to put me on this authorized list and wrote at least 3 letters that he faxed to do the exact same thing.  Today I called, because THEY screwed up our tax forms and was informed that Mr. Cywinski would have to authorize me.  I lost it.

I know it was not this lowly CSR's fault, but why is it that I am following all the stupid rules, dealing with their mistakes, and unable to get my INFORMATION.

First of all, when you are married you have a contract.  In my marriage we share our complete lives including finances.  I understand that some marriages are riddled with lies and deception and lead to divorce.  That is the reason the bank has given for not releasing any info on this account to my husband's wife.  Why are we establishing rules for the exceptions?  How about we assume the marriage is stable and once you find you have a deceptive husband or wife, you call the bank to take them off the authorized list? 

To make matters worse, I also received a letter from these "Security is Job One" proponents informing me that someone changed information on the account.  My  husband did not.  And you already know that i have no access.  So who the hell changed this information?  Obviously the fraudulent party has more authority than the wife.

Can I also complain about the CSR?  She said why don't I just call my husband to call the bank and give me authorization.  I believe her exact words were " It's easy".  Listen girlie... first of all its not that easy as he has a full time job which requires him to work 16 hours a day to pay this absurd mortgage.  He doesn't have time according to your business hours to deal once again with this "security" benefit.  Secondly, I was on hold for 20 minutes waiting to hear that you could not help me.  Who will be paying him for his time dealing with your mistake?  

She was thrilled to be on the line with me at this point.  I spent several minutes berating her intellectual level, her understanding of security, and even the purpose of marriage.  All rattled off at high speed and of course recorded.  None of which did anything for me and now I have a headache.

I am so happy that our financial institutions are getting bail out money because they are obviously doing a real bang up job.