Banner night

Although I would consider our social life pretty full, most would consider is tame and mellow.  Getting crazy is now splitting a bottle of wine AND ordering dessert, coming home around midnight and MAYBE hitting the dance floor.  So of course we could not possibly have experienced the night described below, which came back slowly after waking up realizing someone lost her purse.

Starting off easy enough at 6 pm with a clam bake for a local politician.  They only served beer, so this woman simply drank water (oh what good intentions). The fun started with a trip to the rest room. Asking for some tp from the person with large shoes in the next stall, this fairly large hand came peeking under the wall with paper.  At the sink, it is obvious that hand belonged to a very large, very sweet transvestite.  What an eclectic crowd. 


As this women sits on the rocks facing the water to eat her hotdog, her lovely purple sun dress is swept by the wind and flashes two crew teams.  Luckily no injuries to the team.  Met some hysterical people then decided to move on.  She is starting to relax.


Next stop, favorite watering hole.  Bartender offers wine samples and tells his story. After a bottle of vino and some amazing appetizers, this man and woman decide to meet up with friends, one of whose boyfriend is the percussionist in the band.  She is feeling loose.


The crowd is moving.  Band is amazing.  The details get sketchy here but as the man mentioned, he was hanging with the "Sex and the City" gals.  Amazing crowd, knew a ton of people, dancing, drinking, laughing, dancing, drinking. What the hell are "duck fries" cuz she is eating a ton of them?  Tennis friend is shaking it with the guy in the panama hat and white suit. Did someone just do a split on the dance floor?  Oh the ladies are getting crazy.  He says its time to call it a night.  Nope, the couple meets his partner and date so they go to his place.


Cocktails and music on the balcony of his penthouse.  Champagne?  Celebrating existence.  More music, more dancing, more drinking, more laughing...

It's 10 am and this couple is just getting out of bed.  Her purse is gone..maybe the bar?  Maybe the friend?  No cell, no wallet, no glasses, no keys.  Lots of water, lots of Tylenol.  The couple is smiling.


We are old people who would never stay out until 3:30 am.  So this could not possibly be us.

Table Etiquette Hint

My husband and I had a formal dinner party to attend the other night.  As we are sitting at the table when I see him make the "ok" sign with both hands.  I asked what he was doing and he told me it was a helpful hint to remind him which side his bread dish is on and which side his water glass is on.  You see the left hand makes a "b" so bread dish is on left and the right hand makes a "d" so his water drink is on the right.

After about 5 minutes of mocking him for needing a childish table manners hint at our age, I forget about it. 

A few days later I am attending a fund raiser breakfast with a good friend.  I remember my husband's "trick" and begin to tell her about it.  I start with "You will not believe what he did the other day... ".  Keep in mind I am kind of making fun of him (albeit with love).  Well my friend spins to me with a shocked look on her face.  I think something happened.  She proceeds to tell me that it was SHE who gave him that helpful hint and that she always uses it.  As my face is turning red she adds a roll to her the bread plate on right.  I correct her and we both break out laughing.  She humorously reminds me that the trick does not work if you are dyslexic.

So here is your helpful dinner party hint (try to do it without anyone noticing).