Yesterday morning my husband asked me what I thought about being a mother. I thought odd question. My son is everything to me and I couldn't love him anymore, but how do you really describe being a mom?
It's not at all what I expected. It is so much more. When we decided to have a baby, we thought another person becoming a part of "us". It would complete our little family. Who would have known how all encompassing it is? Probably other mothers.
Although I fulfill many roles (daughter, sister, friend, wife, etc), mother is the only one that I really feel every part of the day. It wakes me up in the middle of the night. Yes I still go to his room at 3 am to check on him. I hit the alarm thinking what he should have for breakfast. I look forward to seeing him open his eyes when I wake him for school. This lasts all day with my noticing things he may be interested in, or listening to music he likes or thinking about how he is doing on a test or in lax practice.
Does this end? I don't think end, but the intensity will probably change. I can't image not worrying about him everyday. Now its adolescence, school, sports and always health/safety. Later it will be college and work and his family.
I was speaking to a friend who choose not to have children. He asked how that could be worth it. What he doesn't understand is that one hug, or smile or wink recharges the batteries exhausted by weariness and worry. My baby's laugh this morning will keep me going through forgotten homework, messy room, and poor attitude.
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