First Date

Oh how I used to love the first date. All that anticipation and expectation. Once you are married, the first date is a thing of the past, unless however you consider the ever-so exciting couples first date. The couples first date is just as it sounds, the initial social outing you and your significant other have with another couple. Much like the first dates of your single life, the couples first date calls for some preparation as well as anxiety.

Last week we were fortunate enough to get asked out. We received an invitation for dinner from a couple we have run into a number of times over the past couple of years. Although our brief encounters have always been enjoyable, we hadn't ever scheduled a formal time to actually go out. It may sound crazy, but I was pretty exited. Certainly, we do not lack social interaction, and we frequently spend time with good friends. But just the thought of different people with unheard stories sent me back to my single days. Those first dates as a single person demanded so much: manicure, hair stylist, the perfect outfit, conversational preparedness. The much easier couples date requires that you remind your significant other what not to say. "Stay away from religion, sex and politics." These topics provide for the most engaging conversations with our friends - but the other adages stay true when you are first dating it.

As we enter the restaurant to meet the other couple, it occurs to me how poorly this could go. Those second thoughts creep in. Should we have a back up plan? The excuses coming pouring into my mind: new babysitter, early morning appointment and the all so useful headache.We have been on several couples first dates that have ending very badly. One of which involved me, accompanied by a number of very pointed expletives, telling our host what I thought of his constant belittling of his wife. We left during dessert and surprisingly have not had a second date. It's really difficult to find that compatible new couple once you pass into middle age. Sure you have the work friend couple. But of course that friend's husband always turns out to be a disappointment. For this to work both members of the couple have to be good, not necessarily great but definitely not horrible. Many times the husband is fascinating and the wife is a dish rag or the wife is gregarious and the husband can only discuss the latest sports scores. What about those occasions when the couple is fighting and the evening is just long, uncomfortable and embarrassing?

Once in the restaurant we are immediately at ease. No prolonged silences. Plenty of stimulating conversation. Self-deprecating laughter. In my mind the evening was a success. We have found a fabulously thoughtful, intelligent and humorous couple.

Next we do what every first dater does...wait and wonder if they'll call again.