I want to be a lab rat

Years ago, an acquaintance of mine had revealed that she participated in numerous medical studies.  In essence she was the human lab rat used for sleep studies, eating disorders and even some bizarre device testing.  At first I thought, how amazing that she is so committed to the progress of science that she would subject herself to this "inconvenience" and even potential danger.  Not so fast, she was in it for the money.  

Once I thought I would partake in such an experiment.  It was at the university and you had to be between 21 and 65, scuba certified and willing to spend several hours a day in closed quarters.  I think it was to test some type of nitrogen effect.  Anyway, I thought I would be helping the scuba profession plus I would feel kind of worthwhile doing my part for education and science.  I'll grab a book and sit for a few hours.  My brilliant husband downloaded a photo of the place I would be sitting, actually crouching in.  He also brought up the claustrophobia factor and asked if I was crazy.  When you put it that way, maybe this isnt for me. 

Now I found one that would work.  Looks like the Medtronic's wired defibrillator may be replaced with wireless sensors.  I want one to replace my pacemaker.  So how do I volunteer for the test?  Guessing there is not a Seattle hotline that you call to say, cut me open and replace my pacemaker.  I am thinking if I can get this done, while they are in there maybe a stomach lipo and breast lift wouldn't be too much to ask.

If you don't see me for a few weeks but notice my photos from Seatlle, you will know I figured out how to get this done.

Keeping Pace

I have a pacemaker.  It's been lodged in my chest for almost 6 years now and I hardly even know its there.  Except for the times I do and it irritates me.  I know I am being a baby and that people have real medical issues to concern themselves with, but I am going to feel a little sorry for myself this morning.

The thing was a pain this weekend.  First I bought an awesome dress to wear to a party Saturday night and I swear instead of noticing the great neckline, all I could see is the giant bump and scar.  I tried some scarf thing and even a ridiculously huge necklace, but decided to just let it shine hideously uncovered.

Sunday we went to see our newly born nephew (he is a doll!) and of course the pacemaker would not stop pumping.  When it goes off (which is about 6% of my heartbeats) it usually is only for a second or two.  Well wouldn't you know it the thing wouldn't stop - so it was uncomfortable and annoying for about 2 minutes.   I look ridiculous standing there with my hand over my chest waiting.  Thankfully I think the baby took all the attention so no one noticed the dumb look on  my face.

Then this morning I had to check in.  The device needs to be checked quarterly.  Fortunately I can do three of those checks at home from this silly looking plastic monitor.

 It only takes about 10 minutes,  which is pretty incredible as it is downloading my heart beats at something like 5 minute intervals for the past three months.  That's a lot of data.  A little invasive as well.  When I have to see the tech at the telemetry office, he always makes note of the times my heart is racing.  Think about it - my heart races when I am excited - does the tech really need that info?

I know I should be thankful and I am.  Bottom line is that I don't pass out anymore, which makes the people around me a lot happier.  Maybe I should just get a tattoo over it?  Any suggestions?